I can see it in your eyes from across the room,

makes my heart ache, it’s a mistake - why do you

compare the self-view, dark-hue worst of yourself

to the online best of who?

Gosh dammit! I can’t stand it! If I had a single wish –

open windows, heal the widows and the few.

Those who give it all away, feel they fail some way

to the online best of who.

Wanna burn...

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“I’m fine”

F. reaking out

I. nsecure

N. eurotic

E. motional

Those are the words that F.I.N.E make up

Words that lie

“I’m fine”

I say as my mind reels and races through time.

Not a day goes by that I don’t question myself.

My misconceptions and decisions.

I wish I knew how to express my thoughts

Maybe in a conclusive way,

one that was easily understood

and ...

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I'm pretty sure that everyone

Knew the ponytail kid.

Had a ponytail kid.

Is what I mean.

The guy that was just...scratchy, and rough, and he needed to shave more. You know that guy?

Yeah.

You kind of have to wonder when you meet the ponytail kid, why he's like that.
With a grey hoodie that's kind of too big, and it has spraypaint haphazardly covering it.

O...

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Consciousness' stream

Batters sensibility.

Defies any logic of control.

Mind-channel's pelt through anxious nonsense.

Respite remote.

Unattainable.

Peace a distant thought,

Foreign land. And there is no place to hide.

No breakwater, behind which

cowering folk

find lulling calm.

This torrent is totality,

whose subject matter

majors upon all those memories,

...

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(spoken wordy angsty teenagery type poem; a work in progress)

I just need a friend
someone to turn to,
but what's the point in a friend if that friend isn't you?
Yiu see, i've got my demons
but you've got yours too.

You've got problems with the scale and you hair smells stale from all the cigarettes you smoke to curb the cravings
anf your stomach growls, begs, pleads.
But no amount of ...

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Learning to love yourself is gruelling. Every flaw, every mistake, every quirk. Only us ourselves know how characteristically flawed we truly are. So we hide. Hide behind make up, clothes and materials.

Social media enables us to create an ideology of the person we think we are, the person we want to be. But in the midst of the night we lie awake contemplating ourselves. Questioning our choices...

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I paint myself inspired, intense,

dismayed but remain just a fat old man

who can’t get laid

such a contrary slut
bathing myself in the corporate filth
served in styrofoam cups
 

the master of diversion

ooh look
the circus is in town

maybe now is my chance
to pull up and over and run away
with a tired old sawdust queen
sold as seen

amidst this arrid contemplation
...

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There's more to me

than what

they see.

Some see the

real me.

Some only

the facade.

Some think

I'm nice,

some think I'm odd.

Some think

I'm a dork.

My emotions

stuffed in a

bottle and

sealed with a cork.

There's more to me

than ...

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‘Beauty’s only skin deep,’ they say

words they somehow think will help

words fail

fall  like acid drops to litmus mind

absorbed, stored, burnt to memory

like scars.

Acute acne leaves its red and pitted trail

and mirrors tell no lies

I reflect upon a ruined face

each blemish magnified.

For many years

I shun the light

that sheds its brig...

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