On the Outside Looking In.

I am on the outside looking in.

Left wondering what could have been.

If I had been dealt a winning hand.

I could be wearing your wedding band.

The man you are holding in your arms.

Is the man who you he charmed.

He gives you everything I never could.

The reasons you left me I understood.

I can see you are in a very good space.

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Sliding through the fog with your 

Illusions of finery

I saw the check engine light when I got in

But your cracked windshield distorted my vision

All I could see was how I felt when

Your leather interior 

Hugged and kissed 

And caressed my body

The cute dates at cute restaurants

Sangria and Seafood

Lies covered in parmesan cheese

Lying about past lives

Lying on ...

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wish sister

I mouthed beer breathed approbation

at the invited wonder of your sister's sweatered breasts

the tableau set

for such delicious beginnings and shaky revisions,

once I  left the "look but do not touch" misgivings

amongst  the litter of a thousand such instructions

I borrowed that hazel eyed angel for a night

rescued from drowning in a clear bottled...

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I paint myself inspired, intense,

dismayed but remain just a fat old man

who can’t get laid

such a contrary slut
bathing myself in the corporate filth
served in styrofoam cups
 

the master of diversion

ooh look
the circus is in town

maybe now is my chance
to pull up and over and run away
with a tired old sawdust queen
sold as seen

amidst this arrid contemplation
...

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