i DONT belong 

i don’t belong here

i don’t belong anywhere. 

i belong alone .

i belong dead.

no one understands me.

i go in groups and try to talk but nothing useful comes out. 

i try to get people to like me but no one ends up liking me. 

im insane.

im so far in my own mind i can’t connect with anyone around me.

i hate myself. i hate who i am.

why c...

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Where am i?

I ask my mindless brain as I disassociate

I disassociate to the point that everyday feels the same

Everything i do blends into one giant blob of nothingness

Nothing matters. Does it? 

It doesn’t. Nothing has ever mattered.

That's why we alter our state of reality.

We alter it to feel something out of all the nothingness.

We take the shot. We take the h...

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You stuck your fingers up me and didn’t even know my name

You grabbed my ass and blamed it on the drink in your hand

You kissed my neck and pulled me into you

I was yours for the night---that one night.

I was too drunk and you knew. Yet you kept going

You kept going down on me further and further.

My bra somehow came off and you began to suck

I didn’t know what was going ...

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i invite you in my life to feel something again

to turn my numbness into happiness;

you are my happiness 

you make me my happiest

no one loves me as much as you do.

day in and day out i consume your love and affection.

soaking up every last bit. the feeling of feeling something for someone again excites my soul.

feeling anything is so hard these days.

but then i a...

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a long silence fills the room---piercing my lonesome ears with pain

i turn

there she is

sad, distant, lonely staring at me dead in the eyes

her mouth opens and screams

no sound comes out.

theres not a way out for her.

i turn back around, taking a deep breath to tiredly dress my face with a sense of geniality. perfect i say to myself.

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