I struggle greatly with the idea that I am inconsequential.
Unnecessary.
Irrelevant.
That I am but a flash in the lives of those whom I cherish.

It takes not but a moment for me to be convinced that my time in their hearts has expired.
Yet several lifetimes could pass, and I would still fear the day my nightmarish internal prophecy would be realized.

The warmth of someone’s love confuses...

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Over a decade has passed, yet at times it feels as if it has hardly been a day

My body follows the passage of time while a piece of my mind remains frozen in that moment

The scars have faded, yet I still see them shine as bright as the day he carved the reminder upon my flesh

Written in a language only my eyes could distinguish

A lifetime has been lived, yet I still return to that litt...

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Night after night sleep evades me

Worry and doubt racing to flood every corner of available space…banishing any chance for the peace my mind so desperately needs

It is a summer night in the south, yet I feel cold

My body curls in on itself, struggling to keep the shattered remnants from falling apart once more

My eyes sting from tears I’m too stubborn to let fall

My voice abandons m...

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What do you see?

Do you see my cracks?

Worn down by a life of this masquerade

Decay hiding behind a lovely picture

Do you see beauty as the sun shines upon me?

or my crumbling pillars?

...do you see nothing but ruins?

Something destined to be forgotten in time...

Can one find elegance in the desolation?

My walls may bow, but my foundation stays strong

I have weathered...

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I feel cold
As the blood in my veins harden like cement causing any task to grow exponentially in its difficulty

I feel cold
As tears build behind a damn that would not allow even a drop to escape until it crumbles to the ground on its final day

I feel cold
As my stomach begins to devour itself in desperation from its starvation all the wile refusing to take in any sustenance

Taunting ...

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Today I smile, which is one of many lies

I boast of strength, resolve, and pride in myself…all of which I do not currently feel.

Breathing is strained…my body pushed past exhaustion.

My voice a lifeless recording rattling off lines that are perfectly crafted to fulfill their purpose of deceit

Limbs creak in their protest to keep step with a dance born from music long since forgotten

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I saw it as growth

I was proud if my progress

...to be able to speak of my struggle

...to be able to be openabout something I always kept inside

Always the one to suffer in silence

Always telling people I was "fine" when I was falling apart

I was proud

But it would seem I was wrong

No one wants to hear it

No one wants to see it

No one wants to know it

So be quiet.....

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