Watery-eyed,

A heavy chest,

The lonely feeling of you being gone.

I stare at your face through photos.

It is all I have left of you.

The other day I smelled sweat, dirt, and motor oil in the air.

It reminded me of you

After you would get home from a long day's work.

I remember you would throw your dirty clothes at me to be funny.

I would delicately untie the laces o...

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I wonder if you look for us

In the way the sun beams down on any given day.

or when you look in the mirror.

Do we ever linger in your mind

As the sound of laughter is heard from little kids playing?

When someone says your name, 

do you turn to look for us?

When our birthday comes around,

do you debate reaching out?

Do you keep track of how old we are as time go...

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I step back.
I have walked through the path of love.
The years pass by,
and I know you more as each day finishes.
Is this forever?

I want it to be.

But do I?

It's as though change is forthcoming.
But only in my dreams.
I cannot change those that are built in their ways.
Some are not made to be like me.
Or at least that is what I am told.

We are surrounded by morals and judgment...

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I tire from the hard days.
I am still in the moments in between.

I feel a sense of release when the wind blows.
It feels cold and soft as it touches my neck.
The sound of beautifully combined notes plays in my ears.
And I am able to feel the world I'm living in.

The day ends, and I put things away.
I wash some clothes,
I take a shower,
I prepare my things for the next day.
I lay down...

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I'm sure they took our photos off the fridge.
I'm sure the framed pictures of us that scattered her walls are gone.
I'm sure I left some things lying around here and there.
I'm sure my presence,
and every existence of who I was,
is erased from their homes.

I'm sure they talk about us.
The words and rumors never leave their mouths.

But I wonder if they sit and reminisce.
And miss who I...

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I wish I would have taken photos to remember it all by.

I miss the smells of those places

And I will occasionally recognize 

the scents as I go about my days.

It was like sweet honeysuckle 

On a warm, glowing, humid summer day.

It was like the old smell of worn out leather

After a long days work in the heat.

It was like chlorine in the air 

that linge...

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Before you forget,

remember how life felt back then. 

Remember the way you yearned for a better life.

How you wanted so badly to be free.

Living with those people who would hurt you

caused you to weep in pain.

You wanted, more than anything,

to be away and independent. 

And here you are,

You live everyday on your own terms.

You buy the things that you want.

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As the years pass,

the memories of you fade away.

I no longer remember the way you smiled.

I just vaguely remember the way your hands felt.

The way it felt to look into your eyes as you spoke.

The sound of your deep voice as you would sing.

The clothes you would wear,

the things that you liked.

Those memories feel like a hazy dream.

I sometimes wonder how ...

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As he walked away

I knew the words had to come out.

The pounding in my chest echoed in my ears. The lump in my throat stayed there.

I could not keep quiet any longer.

It weighed on my mind; i could not sleep.

I glared into your eyes,

Scared to say the truth.

I knew after that moment, 

You and i would never be the same.

Once i told you,

You didnt seem to...

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