This becca highlight

1993, and modern renaissance

Beauty blender and soft focus primer

Lol

No remedy

No pleasure

Same pain, this disguise

So much work

Blend and blend

I'm still the same

100 dollars wiped away

Wish it would wipe this pain away

What a waste

Stupid mask

Stupid me

I know they see,

See this fraud

See this pathetic little me

So fuc...

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“no net ensnares me”

My alma mater

Tears and laughs choke me

They grip my heart and block my path,

by this I mean, my trachea

Epinephrine and dopamine slow 

Withered and dry

Why can't i die?

Entropy always near

Why do i fight?

why do i care?

It's inevitable, this life on earth

Milliseconds to the bang

But why does it feel like an afterlife

Forever this ...

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These four walls

With clothes 2 sizes too small

I will never be a mother,  a martyr

All i have is gold

Soft, pliable gold

No green, no warmth, no home

Empty womb, thirty years old

This is me, alone

These four walls are all i own

Red wine fills my veins and shows me the truth

Complete utter failure, watching jane on a borrowed laptop

Wish i was jane

Wishing and d...

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The same plain birds

A sparrow, a pigeon

In that park looking for scraps

No shame

Soggy hot cheetos or moldy bread

They linger

No pride

Just survival, just to breathe and breed

Breed.

Breed more hot cheetos-eating pigeons?

My fingers, veiny and long

Desperate, desperate

They stretch and bend

 ache and curl

Always moving but never moving

The pigeons

...

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