I drew something today.

First glance;

it's intricate,

it's how I feel,

it's me.

Second glance;

it all shifted.

It's uneven,

it's distasteful,

it's just a pile of fucked up lines.

I analyzed this thought and realized that it accurately describes my whole life.

Everything I do,

everything I say,

is what I think fits.

What I think is right.

When ...

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Happiness:

The light at the end of the never-ending tunnel.    

The worlds way of fueling us with counterfeit hope. 

The missing pieces of the saddest ever puzzle.      

The forgotten punchline of a humorless joke.        

The untied shoelace that causes a slip and stumble. 

The handful of cheap whiskey and the line of coke.  

The meaningful words hidden deep inside a mumble. ...

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If you asked

what my heart

consisted

of.

I would say;

half is pain.

Other half?

Love.

If you said

love was dead,

valueless

time.

Clear your head,

break the shell.

Reveal your

mind.

It's called pain,

caused by words.

Dismantles

soul.

Cant blame it,

bred to kill.

Grimmest of

goals.

Sad but true,

both the halves

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I tried to save you from the world,
but I was too slow.
I tried to put up walls for you.
In places you didn't even know.
But now I'm sitting by myself,
while you're out there on your own.
Wax-covered communication.
On the telephone.

I tried to save the world from you.
The light says to go.
I hope you crash into the wall,
that I built to help you grow.
I am surrounded by my boys.
...

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I've never been one to board common trains of thought.

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Born with a glitch.

Struggle to convey.

Feel it build up.

Mentally rephrase.

Influent tongue.

Analytical mind.

Songs left unsung,

and my life left confined.

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A year or so ago,

if you would like to know;

a thief, she stole my heart.

Then left me all alone.

If I gave her the blame,

well, that'd be a shame.

I could call myself a thief, too.

Just not in the same way.

You see, a thief never returns.

But me? Her heart was always hers.

She stole mine then made the escape,

with mine, hers, and her final words.

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My lungs breathe in most of everything,

No matter the toxicity.

Some days I hold in the putrid air,

Until I'm left gasping.

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String me along with the kites that you fly,

Threaded between the clouds and the starlight.

You'll never believe the view from up here.

Covering lies.

Developing lives.

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I caught you peeking through the window,

Of this old abandoned house,

Finely crafted from the dreams I left behind.

I stopped you dead in your tracks,

The tracks I once wandered when I discovered this realm.

How did you find me through this smoke?

It was much to blinding for me.

You took my hand and walked away,

Only pulling half of me with you.

If just for a moment...

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 One day this boat will be too heavy to float,

And the captain will say his goodbyes.

A song so sad will be sung on that night,

As the crew greets their friendly demise.

      I've run out of ways to diminish the waves you violently push towards my shore.

On my hands and knees. I beg, I say "please".

But the water is climbing up more.

      So for all of the people a...

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My greatest decision was to give my heart to nobody, but it resulted in an amazing loneliness. I created a safe haven. A comfortable place in my head, where words couldn't reach and prying eyes could never see. But with the gain of comfort, there came a sudden, unexpected loss of understanding.

       I began to look for answers in places I had never dreamed existed, places that only exist in t...

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