The Archive Monster's Coming

The Archive Monster's coming

Quickly, you me read

Don't worry though, my poet will

Continue with my breed

Don Matthews 29 February 2020

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Oh Little Poem With Two Days Left

(Suddenly realising it was the 28th I wrote this in a hurry. I seem to have a habit of conversing with inanimate objects. Am I lacking friends? Thalia and I often have chin-wags. She's a great friend. Never tells me off. Is she real or inanimate? Hmm....)

I am a little poem

On view for two more days

When I will then be bundled off

Arc...

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A Strange Happening

A strange thing happened yesterday

When I did tap rotate

My bladder had this funny urge

And said “Go urinate”

I have a scientific mind

And had to know the reason

Why my bladder told me this

And why it needed easing

Knowing Google's reputation

In solving strange events

I quickly typed in '”Please help me

Why to the loo I'm sent?...

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The Singer and the Storm

The screen above the singer

Flashed thunder, lightening, doom

When suddenly, from nowhere,

Real lightening, thunder, boom

The rain came down in torrents

Electric circuits blew

Custom made piano

On stage, left all drenched through

All poncho'd and protected

The singer led away

OK, but just bit shaken

Another Elton day

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Billy's Problem

(First seen in the Like-Minders Society Theme Park Rollercoaster Stop 'Propper Spelling School')

Billy's with us here today

Troubled with a plight

He doesn't quite know what to say

Does he bite or byte ?

When his tongue and teeth connect

(Cos teeth not lined up right)

Does he say “shit!, ouch, I bite”

Or “shit! and ouch, I byte ?”

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Did You Notice?

You may (or not) have noticed

What happened yesterday

I did not post a poem

Why's that Don? Tell us, say

OK

Was spending time with family

When time it came around

To post another daily poem

(With no vocal, sound)

I don't do audio.

My accent is scary

Suddenly she tells me

(My partner) don't you dare

Go get on your c...

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I Am An Offbeat Poet

I am an offbeat poet

Don't follow any norms

Correction - norms of rhyming

(To give it some sort form)

Since Thalia (my Muse of Mirth)

Arrived I rhyme more fun

My humour writes have increased and

Now number more than one

No matter poet type you are

And what you are about

The purpose of our writing is

To bring what's inside out

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G'day

LMS I like you

Led by someone Don

Playing round with laughter, fun

No, this ain't no con

No. It plays around with fantasy

and stretching the imagination

Me mate Skip says g'day.....

Without this playing with fantasy no creative work has ever yet come to birth.

The debt we owe to the play of the imagination is incalculable.

Car...

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Po's just come back from the dead

Yippee yay yippee yay yay

He said it was only sabatical

But I don't believe him hey hey

He seems to make this quite a habit

He made a long visit last year

Did they kick him out, or he miss us?

No matter, let's all have a beer

Did Po really come back from the dead Eth?....

Dunno luv...ask him....

Wot's it like ...

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 LMS Update 19/2/20

The Like-Minders Society (LMS) is a group of WOL poets who think alike and communicate via PM.

It focuses on the exploration of fantasy, imagination, humour, and offbeat poetry.

Back in October 2019 I started working on an idea of combining fantasy, imagination, humour and offbeat poetry. I called it the Like-Minders Society. From this initial idea grew the virtua...

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Silly 'n' Sad

OK I can rhyme silly

At times you'll think 'ye gad!'

This only is a part of me

I also can rhyme sad

Rhyme's my tool of versing choice

It's lilting on the ear

Can carry anything I want

From sadness, hope, to cheer

Let's not forget the humour that

I give it, to go steer

Round on WOL producing smiles

(Let's all go gave a beer....)

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At What Cost President Trump?

Trump has improved the economy

Of that there's no denying, it's true

But at what cost does it mean to the environment?

Consider what he now wants to do:

He wants funding cuts of:

75% Office of Energy Efficiency and Renewable Energy

(agency dealing with carbon-neutral energy and new green technologies)

27% Environment Protect...

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Update. But You'll Just Have To Wait

The goings on behind the scene

Will soon make it's debut

You think I'm having fun with you?

Of course, that's what I do

LMS updates are fun

But you'll just have to wait

Humourland is hidden

Hidden, hiding 'way

Behind it's gates, The Theme Park

Where Like-Minders play

LMS updates are fun

But you'll just h...

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Did He Not Write Comedy?

There should be heaps more humour

Written on the site

Golly gosh there poet Don!

Get your thinking right!

Our site is hallowed, serious

No place for tit and tat

Imagine what our Shakespeare

Would think of all of that?

Funny, I seem to recollect

The Bard liked humour too

Did he not write comedy?

Much Ado Ado?

Don Ma...

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Miracle Man

You don't accept a warming Earth

Which scientists say is so

Yet happily accept a miracle man

2000 years ago

Don Matthews February 2020

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Dr Don At Your Service

(Researchers at Donyagoz Adana Hospital, Turkey have found excess use of Viagra can produce a multitude of unwanted side effects. Feb 2020)

Dr Don's on your screen here to warn you

If you're using Viagra to excess

OK, it will stand you to attention

But other things might end in mess

This simple little thing called sildenafil

Could tur...

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God Is On The Web

God is on the web

Waiting for your prayer

You'll find there is no video link

Skype or live chat there

If your faith is good and strong

God's service is profound

But if you are an atheist

Click link says 'no page found'

Don Matthews February 2020

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Thalia Likes My Drumming

(Thalia is my Muse of Mirth. She helps me write fun poetry. LMS have adopted her as their mascot. We all have a fun time)

I'm drumming in a blues band

(Thalia likes this poem)

She tells me it's too noisy there

Prefers to stay at home

Quietly sipping Earl Grey....

From a china teacup....

Like the lady she is.....

Don Matth...

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Prosaic Hell

I have so many poems

They wait, pile up, say “send”

They keep on procreating

It drives me round the bend

This bloody rhyme's addictive

I gotta have my words

Injected for my daily fix

It's damnably absurd

You say to me “Go rehab”

“They will de-rhyme your brain

Jack and Jill won't climb the hill

They'll prose you till you're sane”

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Circled by High Fences

The park it was once theme-like

Decayed now to the ground

A ghostly symbol from the past

Now silent with no sound

The park, once full of laughter

With people having fun

All now past, forgotten

No more a park, no sun

A sound can still sometimes be heard

Breaking through the silence

Metal creaking in the breeze

Now circled by ...

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Pamela and Jon Tie the Love Knot

(Married 20 January.  Lasts 12 days)

Jon Peters and Pamela Anderson

Movie mogul and long Playmate star

Tied their love knot only 12 days ago

Honeymooned in a Malibu spa

Seems something went wrong in the spa (so it seems)

(Could Jon no more stand up, erect?)

Cos Pam's called it off, (jetted home), since said knot

But we...

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Polyadic

Polyadic

What's it mean?

Quite benign?

Quite obscene?

Yes it's in

You're favourite dic

Or if you choose

Take any pick

It simply means

Three or more

Useless word

I ever saw

What useless

Waste of time

Polyadic

Waste of rhyme

Polyadic

Three or more

Four, five, six

What a bore

How can I

Use this wo...

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The Journey

I've just been on a journey

To farewell a dear friend

Who took a final journey

At his life journey's end

I have a pre-booked ticket

Of that there's no debate

The only thing I'm waiting on

Is when I'm told the date

The office Supervisor

In charge of ticket sales

Decides my date of boarding

Decides when I set sail

What mode of jo...

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How Old Are You?

How old are you my dear friend?

Old as the woman I touch

Said Groucho Marx when questioned
I like this answer much

How old are you my friend asked?

I said older than you

But not as old as that man

With no teeth left to chew

Our age? How vague we try and be

When people ask, and delve

We want to hide, embarrassed

And keep it to oursel...

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How and Why

(Geelong Australia)

The woman married (happy then)

Facebook told it all

Playing with their children

Going to football

The woman sat in court today

(Killed husband while he slept)

Set fire to him while in his chair

Her mother blew kiss, wept

The circumstances (yet unknown)

Which caused for him to die

Have not in court been dealt wi...

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