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No Drive

Soon self-driving cars will be the norm

And we will long for the days behind

Because we are unable to just go for a ride

Without a destination in mind

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I Need a Raise

A single dose of Viagra cost fifty bucks

That price is quite a fright

Add in dinner and a prostitute

You're talking a very expensive night

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Looking Good

When looking for a new doctor

For me the best of all

Is one that's overweight and a smoker

And reeks of alcohol

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Perfect Strike

Men are six times more likely to be struck by lightning

Now odds, 700,000 to 1 is an important detail

It still makes me stop and think

That God just may be a female

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