Deep thoughts are romantic 

knowing what you are truly thinking 

bad or good

wild or even insane

I wanna know it all

your thoughts is what makes you, you 

I could listen to your thoughts all day and all night

Come on baby and tell me your deep thoughts

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once was a sweet inocent young girl

a young girl who always followed the rules

always listen what was told

never disapointed anyone

but she was never happy

always wanted to fit in

and to be loved and to be popular

honestley she would do anything to fit in

even go to places she shoudnt go

like to that party she didnt even want to go to 

but if that meant fitting in

...

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i always thought about this day

the day i would finally have the balls

the balls to finally end my own life

its really what i imagine

just the darkness and me

i never thought i could do it

i been thinking about for years now

i never not did it cause i was getting happy

i didnt ever do it cause i never had the courage

but i think tonight is the night

nothing too fancy ...

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throw me on the bed

start kissing on my body

strip me till i am bare

place your hands all over me

make me feel a different way

tell me how you plan to satisfy me

remember its just me and you

there are no rules or limits

whatever you want goes

i just want you to please me

like no one has before

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There is no such thing as happinees

no such thing as friends or family

just disappointment and  sorrow

lies and envy

brokenness and pain

thats what we live for now days

not to be happy

but to be content 

no one really wants to see you happy

honestly not even yourself 

just living because honeslty we dont have the courage to take our own lives !

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Losing you hit a nerve that I thought could never be hit

pain that can never heal, pain that will never go away 

tears that will never stop, or hurt that will never heal

memories that will never go away 

Losing you made me realize that you was my world

no one could ever take your place

never fill in your shoes

love me like you did

Losing you was an eye opener

knowing lif...

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I always see all these couples and I ask myself are the really happy ? Are they really in love ?

Will i ever experenice love and happiness like that ? Will I ever be happy like them ?

I know a realtionship and love is not something you can rush , but I always ask myself when will I get to be in love and be happy.

Will I always be this unhappy and not loved ? Like what do I have to change ...

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As I reach for the bottle I stop and think why am I really drinking ? Do I drink for fun ? Do I like the way it makes me feel ? When did I start drinking? Do i really have a problem ? Why do I drink so much ? Why can I not stop? Do I really depend on drinking ? All these questions run threw my head everytime . And i always tell myself I drink to make the pain go away, it stops me thinking about ev...

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As I start to reach for the blade I start to cry

I start to put the blade closer to my am

Shaking and crying, I know this is what I want to do , but I can not

I put the blade on my arm and start to cut

The pain starts to feel good and overwhelming

The pain feels so good, I go to my other arm

With the blade on my arm and blood dripping all over me

I start to forget about the pa...

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As I lay here in my tears, I realize there is nothing else to cry about.

Nothing else to worry about .

No one to even care for. 

As I lay here in my tears , I start to wonder why I lived this long,

Why I just dont give up yet.

Why I just dont end it now.

As I lay here in my tears, I think who will miss me when im gone,

Who will actually cry ,

Who would be upset that I am no...

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I live in a world full of people

but yet i feel so alone , like no one is around

No one to talk to about the scary thoughts that run in my head

No one to run to when i feel down

They say I have lots of friends but really I have  no one

No one but myself and these scary thoughts

But I have to put on this fake smile and go on

When in reality I just wanna scream and cry.......

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