Set Tracks
I am a train station
where people go and come
and I am always
lingering too long or
I err in some incomprehensible way
Looking up at night
does not help me much
even if stars twinkle and wink
I'll keep making my rounds
Saturday 9th November 2024 9:04 am
Growing Pains
4 kilos more
I hate to say it, really
My thoughts are potent ! - i am fizzing ! ---
And then chewing is a chore
and then I'm
six again
and my mom is telling me to eat more
to grow up big and strong
I hate being my own mother
Thursday 29th August 2024 9:44 pm
Gusher
I'm sugary
I should have grown out of it
she laughs at me and
I turn to goo
I'm bleeding out sticky syrup
all over
Should I try to lick it up?
Saturday 24th August 2024 8:17 pm
It's happening again
I'd thought I'd dismissed
you
phantom pain
prying me open
freezing over and over
icy thaw hurts more than the chill
Dante knew best
I am in hell
Saturday 24th August 2024 8:03 pm
reflecting
narcissus lover-girl
gazes; thinks to be in love
is disturbed when I ripple
spell-broken,
I deepen, deepen
I am
vast and endless
not a sea for her
Friday 23rd August 2024 6:04 am
heretic's prayer
two young missionaries
walk up to me
and ask me to please embrace their lord and savior
the left is thick and strong: penetrating
the right is demure and wide-eyed and sweetly-worded
they ask me if I believe in their god,
I'm not sure,
but I pray that whatever god they believe in, theirs or mine,
is soft to them
Sunday 18th August 2024 7:04 pm
Doctor's Visit
I am a silly boy
Today it crept down my skull
and trickled across my collar
and filled my arms and groin
with heat and blood and sparks
I panicked and squirmed and screamed
I had no control,
asked my doctor to help
He told me, with a patronizing paternal smile,
that I was feeling
happiness
Thursday 15th August 2024 10:51 pm
Middling Sort
Father is Irish, mother: English
Match made in hell.
They bicker about their spawn
whether we are more one than the other
My father's brothers are blue-eyed, ruddy, proud jutted jaws
My mother is hazel and earthy
Both lineages bred clever men and strong women: the middling sort
My eyes are murky mimicries of my mothers'
I look Slavic, German, some even ask Greek
My...
Wednesday 14th August 2024 3:06 pm
Wrung Out
I see glimpses of my parents
that sometimes slip through
Before me, they were young, resourceful, tried their best
My mother adopted a feral cat
which destoyed their furniture when they vacationed
My father rode a bike and carried packages and ate sandwhiches
for lunch
Who were those people?
I grieve for them but it does and means nothing
My father threatens to h...
Wednesday 14th August 2024 5:20 am
Face Cream
I sneak into my mother's cabinet
steal expensive face cream
Its thick and gloppy, smells a little - like faint sunscreen
Stings my ingrown hairs; slick and almost greasy
And after I use it I understand.
My cheeks are chubby and bouncy
I'm a plump child in the dim light
my skin glows along my bones
my jaw and temple: eerie too
I look and look and trace my larynx an...
Tuesday 13th August 2024 5:19 am
Dread Soup
I'm in the gooey space of time. Light is warm.
I don't move anything. My brain is sinking
and slopping out my ears and cranium.
I have to piss. I feel dizzy.
I wonder what the point
of doing anything is.
Hold out my left arm, spread my hand open, raise my index finger,
press down once or twice
I'm alive
I think
Wonder what the point of doing anything is
Monday 12th August 2024 10:36 pm
Hail the Conquering Hero
One grainy autumn day
he comes back to me
I smile when I see him on the horizon
and rush to him when he breaches our threshold
Garlands 'round his neck,
I hang about him too
- trembling arms -
and breathe in sweat, and dirt,
and salt on skin.
I am not sure what will happen.
I will myself to think happily
or at least to not write a bad ending
...Monday 12th August 2024 10:26 pm
Just Sex
Sex
Sex Sex Sex
Its so pesky: fluff and glitter and showmanship for Sex
Just Sex
I can't escape Sex
Who knows if I'm good at it?
Does it even matter?
Sex. Taboo. Universal. Tiring.
The whole thing is ridiculous.
All the agonizing and grovelling and pining and scheming,
I can't make heads nor tails of it.
It nearly drove Bukowski mad,
and then nearly ...
Monday 12th August 2024 7:49 pm
Reverse Autumn
I'm wearing leggings today
I crunch a dark brown leaf under my foot
My mother pays my rent
Its reverse autumn
I feel so guilty
I ran two miles today
Her father is dying
I need to take a shower now
My siblings are home to help
I have a class at 5:00
I hate it when she ruffles my hair and grabs my neck
I took an exam today, I don't think I did well
She'...
Monday 12th August 2024 7:04 am
Acerbic
You stand before me like an ancient hero
beseeching some variety of unfriendly divinity
Bold, unabashed, determined, focused.
But you talk, and your hands are nervous
and fumble and your voice trembles and all of a sudden -
I remember everything I like about you.
You, brave, prodding, ask Me for the impossible
"Can't we still be friends?"
- No. -
Bu...
Sunday 11th August 2024 6:58 pm
Butchering Keats
What crude Pow’r and what cruel Fate
Bid us to the Lovers’ Gate?
One is Chick’n, the other Craven,
The latt’r Do’er, the form’r, Maven.
Valor writhes upon His proud steed
once spear'd and struck by Anxiety
He opens his dread’d maw and
bitter Fear spews forth,
to torment lovers e’ermore.
Sunday 11th August 2024 3:27 am
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