Looking at her will make you feel so alive
It's the opposite for her, because she's dead inside 
She's tired of pain so she sits alone and hides
Up in her room with the music on no one hears her cries 
She doesn't think about suicide, just always hopes she dies
Another thing gone wrong, but she's use to that, so she just shakes her head as she sighs
Wishing she didnt have to live in a world ...

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whenever i found out i was pregnant with you,
i was so happy and filled with love i could feel my heart literally melt...
whenever i found out i’d be losing you, and then i lost you,
that was the most painful thing my body and heart had ever felt...
you gave me the greatest joy, and also the greatest pain... 
you so quickly made me full of life, and then when i lost you, with you my life had ...

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 i think the greatest tragedy in my life was the day i somehow forgot how the sound of my name was and how the way my laugh would form and i wasn’t able to preform it anymore... my greatest tragedy was forgetting who i had been, or i suppose, losing track of who i was... i couldn’t truly BE MYSELF anymore because i couldn’t really figure who that should be or what that should really mean... i felt...

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here i stand, here i stay...

in the midst of memories

that wont seem to go away..

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i dont really understand why i'm still taking up for you when you've hurt me in the worst ways... am i in love with you? or am i just use to you? why the fuck can't i get over you?! i know you don't see me the way i see you anymore..but i stood by you, not seeing eye to eye.. stood by while you got high. i see it in your eyes that i'm not by your side. but without your love how can i possibly surv...

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true beauty comes from the radiance and uniqueness of something standing out like a fire lit in the night sky... what i find beautiful, is something different. something that is unlike anything or anyone else. it'll stand out.. have a purpose, a meaning, or just something beautifully different to look and find interest in.. something that has so many more "shades" and colors rather than just one. ...

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physically i'm drained 
mentally unframed

losing my mind
lost and trying to find

but what am i looking for?
knocking on each closed door

seems lately i'm feeling empty
stuck wondering "who is the real me?"

smiling through this misery
but then i met you - 
my sadness, distant memory
and i didn't have a clue, my heart destined for you

happiness then truly gained
i'm no longer ...

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i spent those days i was with you,
falling hard, loving each new thing i'd learn about you...
can't believe i thought you fell too...
but your intentions were never true,
loving me, you just couldn't do...
too bad i fell for it, i'd never even had a clue...
i fell so deeply in love with you, 
although you never loved me too...

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my heads a fuckin mess
my hearts too torn and too tattered
lately my life's been full of stress
everything looking like a disaster

shit keeps fucking with my menty
lately i've been feeling empty
of my love, you always had plenty
and with your promising words, you would always tempt me
but now i see, no matter how badly i wanted it to be,
your love just wasn't meant for me.. 

even thr...

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we all look for something to ease the pain
whether its being hungry with greed,
or taking a needle to the vein 
we all got something we feel we need,
so we don't drive ourselves insane
praying one day my mind is freed 
but when it thunders, it's gonna rain
just remember with the rain, there comes a growing seed

so just hold on till then - you can maintain
just slow down, get outta that ...

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there's nothing harder to do, than to forget someone you once knew.. someone you loved, and once upon a time, they loved you too.. drugs took that light from your eyes baby - and yeah, sadly they took you too.. constantly chasing that high, hardy able to even get by.. i'd always ask myself why, why does he have to fucking lie? why do you want yourself to die?? why can't you at least fucking try, b...

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no matter how badly you want to be with someone, you cannot make them want you back. either they do, or they don't.. you can get on your hands and feet while kissing the ground they walked on, and they could still hardly pay you any mind, better yet give you the time of day.. love is not something you force, and really not even something to find.. the feeling of love is something that happens with...

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fuck, i'm so damn stressed
thinking about you,
missing the way you'd get undressed
but you started acting brand new
and to be real, i was just unimpressed..
out of the blue, 
didn't know what to do..
did you forget how you caressed 
my broken heart 
and sewed up my chest?
wish i could undue 
what i started with you
wish i could turn back time
and never even begin to invest
my love an...

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Looking at her will make you feel so alive
It's the opposite for her, because she's dead inside 
She's tired of pain so she sits alone and hides
Up in her room with the music on no one hears her cries 
She doesn't think about suicide, just always hopes she dies
Another thing gone wrong, but she's use to that, so she just shakes her head as she sighs
Wishing she didnt have to live in a world ...

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In the end,
there's no help from one single friend
because in the end, 
I'm all alone, left once again

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i don't know how you can let me look at you and tell you how you broke me and ruined me and be completely fine.. you say you love me, and that i hurt you, but you don't even care to literally hurt me or emotionally destroy my head. you've shot me in the heart and made the paint on the walls of my soul crack and chip and you sat there and watched as i crumbled into pieces and broke apart with my po...

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i tell you it seems to every time "ignore this long ass message", i'd rather you not pretend that you care and pretend you got what i said just to get back into my bed... or for you to check it and as usual, silently leave me on read - cause its what you do best, and well,  that is to fuck with my head.. that's ok though, its just goes to show, any love or feelings for you, they no longer stand - ...

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the day i faked saying i love you was the day i put myself above you. the day i realized i didn't want you anymore was the day i finally was able to kick you out and bolt lock that door. i don't know what exactly lead me to this point of closure, i think maybe i had just regained my confidence and composure. by you, i was left alone.. your whereabouts most nights were unknown, and you made sure to...

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happy
that's what i use to be
pain
that's what changed in me
lost
that's what i came to be 
you 
that's who believed in me
you 
was all i could see
you 
you suddenly took all of me
you 
had problems of your own, some i'd not yet seen
you 
became broken down and lost while looking for me
you 
promised to never hurt me
you 
promised you'd never desert me
you 
tried to be
everyt...

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for you to literally sit in front of a motherfucker and to have blood on you and to be shaking so bad and tears streaming down your face and snot coming out of your nose and spit running out of your mouth with bruises still on your legs and arms from your last encounter and the person you are sitting in front of still not give a damn and still somehow make an excuse for leaving you as though it's ...

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im thinking way too much.. out of my mind, or have i just lost touch? wishing i could just take flight, away from these thoughts i'd run.. sick of constantly fighting for some light, i live trapped in a dark place with no sun.. going nowhere fast, sinking and forgetting i can swim.. this ships already crashed, now i'm being swallowed whole by the darkness within..

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she used to be so damn happy
but i guess theres more than the eyes can see
because if im speaking truthfully
she was never really that happy
amused? shit, just maybe
confused,
that she was terribly
misused,
thats all she began to know, you see,
the abuse began from a young age
the very peak of her growing stage
the beginning of the book that told her story
was marked and torn from the ...

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lil shorty's been through a lot, got her heart broken one too many times.. all she ever did was give her love and trust to people who didn't see what she was worth, it wasn't her fault she'd end up so hurt.. she just believed imperfect people were beautiful and, like herself, a broken heart is possible to be mended again.. so she gave her love tryna fix a thug.. she saw pain and potential in his e...

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it went from "i love it when you look at me like that.. come here, you're beautiful." 
all the way to "stop fucking staring at me like that." completely acting brand new
talking in a voice i never knew
you'd cut me off, right out of the blue
you'd forgotten about me, and how to stay true
and i just stood there mouth gaping, not knowing what to do..
that's when i knew i lost you.

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all i really ever wanted was to be loved and appreciated
lord knows i get so low, so i get high and make myself elevated
every day and night i'm always high, yeah i just stay faded
i want a love and type of feel thats so fuckin real there ain't no way to fake it
i want a man who so badly wants to see my soul, and not just see me naked
all these dudes know how to do is use me, there's nothing ...

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Nobody understands me but me

seems like nobody can stand me, but me...

until I had you there standing next to me

Thought your love was enough to set me free

but then you found out loving me wasn't free

Loving me was rough, and never easy...

but my love for you was never tough,

it always came easy...

You're the only one who really cares,

who really sees me...

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My ship is sinking, 

while your ship has sailed...

Our attempt at love,

seems it has failed...

Maybe if we tried harder,

could have prevailed...

I'm crumbling into pieces

crashing against these waves

that are helping to rip my walls right apart

my ship sinking, a metaphor for my broken heart

Where did the love go? 

how did you and I go from bein...

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Sometimes it's hard to see the light whenever you're surrounded by darkness

Have you ever felt the type of pain from looking in the mirror and not being able to recognize yourself?

Looking into your own eyes and at your own face and you say "Who is this?"

I've lost myself, yes, I'm afraid I do need some help...

But help from where? I've already been here, and I've been there...

Now,...

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Soon, you’ll be loved in all the right ways by the man who will worship you like you are the sun and the brightest star in his galaxy because you are not merely just a shooting star that goes out quickly after some time - you are his sun, the brightest and most beautiful star there is to see... So bright that the world can’t help but be drawn into the turns and pulls of your atmosphere and everyth...

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    Who the fuck needs love? Love doesn’t do shit except cause more pain... Fuck that shit I’d rather just cut my vein than to be looked at with such disdain because I can’t maintain a fucking solid brain because my hearts wants to intervene and cause these feelings that are unseen for a guy that can’t even give me a reply so fuck it my heart hurts so bad I just want to fucking die I lay here and ...

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All alone once again

Silence envelopes me

Might drive myself

insane

My loneliness, it seems to 

challenge me

So I have to ask myself

”Is this really who I want to be?”

Want to free my mind,

and just put myself at ease...”

I’ve only lived in life,

Don’t know how to truly feel alive

Think I forgot how to breathe

Happiness? Ha, to me that’s a tease

...

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I feel like I’m not even alive

Feels like something had died in me

Or maybe it’s just me who is dead inside

Lost touch of who I want to be

Can’t you see?

I’ve got a super fucked up head

I can’t ever fall asleep

With each night, I begin to hate my bed

I’m in much too deep 

I just want to sleep

Seems only time I’ll get sleep is if I wind up dead

Ah, going to sleep, m...

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    You’d get so angry at me for no fuckin’ reason

So cold, baby, your heart is so freezing

    “I just want you to act like you love me, trust me, and put no one above me”

If I don’t answer nicely, you’d push me and shove me

You’d get in my face, acting tough, “Go ahead try and fight me -

Come on, fight me back, I wish you would try me,”

But why would I try you?

Because now I...

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    Maybe instead of not being enough,

I was just far too much

    Maybe instead of a broken heart,

he left me so I could have a new start

    Maybe instead of “being left”,

I was just being pushed one step ahead

    Maybe he was the one with problems,

and he walked away to go and solve ‘em

    So instead of crying over you,

I will say “Thank you”...

    Because what ...

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i’m sinking in a pool of my own thoughts and my own mind

a whole sea full of water yet it’s full of nothing but air

do you hear me? 

there’s nothing really there yet i’m

drowning

i’m drownig and gasping for air...

drowning 

but no water is there? 

how the fuck is it possible for me to feel like i’m drowning when i thought i knew how to swim

drowning

i’m drowning becau...

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I seem to look for the beauty in the broken and unfinished, rather than the polish and the shine. I look for a broken heart to fix it, although conflicted in my own mind. 

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