You Hold My Hand
You hold my hand and I wonder
Was the sun always this bright?
Did the breeze always feel this gentle?
Has the water always been this calm?
Wednesday 15th January 2025 12:48 am
Can I Go Back To Yesterday?
I am drifting through the world and
I am getting older.
I woke up being twenty today
But when I fell asleep last night I was only fifteen.
And you held me in your arms
And told me that things get better
That this is not permanent.
And you were right.
I woke up today with nothing
But yesterday I had you.
Did you know?
Did you know it was temporary?
Yesterday I wa...
Tuesday 19th November 2024 4:20 am
Say Good Night
Mom, can I sleep a little more?
My eyes are heavy and my feet ache
And I feel a pulsing in my chest that is getting worse
But I don't know if it's the coffee or the insatiable hunger to be loved
Mama, I'm lost.
I work myself until I cannot carry my own voice
I work until the only thing I see are blurred lines of undefined past, present, and future
Mommy, I'm tired.
Can you ...
Wednesday 18th September 2024 5:51 am
Forget the Leaves
The leaves are falling again
And my hearts still blue
So I beg September will
Make me forget you
Thursday 5th September 2024 6:34 am
Someone
I reach for my own hand,
But I cannot seem
To grasp it.
I search for my face in the mirror,
And find a stranger
Looking back at me.
I wonder if I'll always be chasing
Someone
That is just out of reach.
Wednesday 21st August 2024 12:46 pm
Buried and Forgotten
I have buried myself into the earth
Forced myself through the weeds and roots
I let the red clay mold me into something I do not recognize
I tell the trees that I need this
I need to be twisted and transformed by the dirt
To be embraced by the bugs and the rotting
But I yearn for the warmth of the sun
I want to run my fingers through the ocean
And be intertwined with the wi...
Wednesday 17th July 2024 8:15 pm
I Want You to See Me
You looked at me
Like I was worth holding
Yet you never
Reached out your hand
You never
called out my name
And I've been waiting
This whole time
I've been waiting
For you to see me
Monday 8th July 2024 5:14 pm
Sway and Shift
The sun could swallow me up
And I would not complain
It would heal me of everything
And take away all the shame
The roots could pull me down
And anchor me down strong
But I would not say a word
For I could finally belong
Among the trees and the wind
I find myself yearning
To sway and to shift
So the world could stop burning
Wednesday 1st May 2024 7:35 am
Collecting Dust
My aching is collecting dust,
Hidden away in the place I buried it.
I tell myself I do not miss it,
That I do not want it back.
But there's something in me
That reaches out toward it.
That breathes in and breathes out,
So the dust blows away.
I don't want my pain
But I feel it is a part of me.
I would not exist without it.
I would not be whole
without ...
Tuesday 23rd April 2024 3:21 am
Twinkling Stars
I told you that I count the stars
And you said I'd always be counting
Because the stars are infinite
I think that maybe I could be infinite too
I could be bright and shining and warm
I could be the light someone else follows
And I go to tell you but
You are dim now
And it is dark
And I pray to God that it won't always be like this
I pray that the night won't swallow m...
Friday 29th March 2024 5:36 am
A Sprout
I blinked and you were here
Sprouting into my life
Like it's the easiest thing
You've ever done.
Wednesday 14th February 2024 8:21 pm
What's Wrong With Me?
I realized this wouldn't work
When you called my name
And for a split second
I couldn't breathe
Or when you looked at me
With those eyes
And I didn't want to look away
I realized I liked you too much
When I thought about you all night
And I fell asleep thinking about
All the things I did wrong
All the things I did that made me
Not enough for you.
Tuesday 6th February 2024 1:43 am
Wilting
I want someone to look at me
Like I'm a dying flower
I want them to see how pitiful I am
With dried out leaves
And a broken stem
And my yellow petals falling to the ground
I want them to see the other flowers beside me
The flowers that face the sun
And sing with the wind
The ones that dance with life
Instead of fight it
I want someone to see them
And to see me...
Friday 26th January 2024 4:51 pm
I Tell Myself
I grew up wishing for the things you have
And I tell myself that one day
I'll have all those little things
I'll have blueberries for breakfast and
I'll look out of my bay window to see
The white picket fence that surrounds my yard
And beyond that I'll see the sunrise and
Hear the birds chirping and
I'll be awake and alive and
I won't be scared of anything
I won't be...
Thursday 18th January 2024 5:36 pm
Broken Vase
My Mother is a broken vase
And I was born from the shattered glass
I am a sharp, edged piece of her
And I have tried to mold myself
To be smoother, kinder
To be worth loving
Because I fear if I remain the way I am
I will be cut by the same blade that gave me life
And I will bleed out until the only thing left of me is sand.
Monday 8th January 2024 7:21 pm
Still Moon
Why does one feel with the moon,
Hidden at day and awake at night?
Why does one sing a tune,
Of all that is sad and full of spite?
Why hold on to goodbyes
And keep a sour mood,
When by all the time that flies
You could have been renewed?
O, know that in my mind you fill
And you will always occupy my heart.
So that when the world for me grows still,
Of my soul you w...
Tuesday 19th December 2023 5:06 pm
A Prayer
My bra has loose threads
And my hair falls out so much that I have to pull clumps out of my hairbrush
And my acne isn't getting better even when I wash my face every night and every morning
I forget to make my bed sometimes and I forget to pray to God.
And when I do pray I don't know if it changes anything
Because when I was little I prayed for strength and love and family
And Go...
Wednesday 13th December 2023 6:07 am
If I Wake Up With You Beside me
If one day I wake up
And I find you beside me
I think maybe I would hold your hand
I think I would tell you that I am lonely and afraid
And I would tell you I've felt like this since you left us
I'd tell you that no matter the day, or the hour, or the minute
I feel the aching hole you left behind in the young girl who adored you
I feel the hate, and the anger, and the sadness,...
Wednesday 6th December 2023 12:23 am
Alone Again
Why is it always like this?
Why do I so often find myself alone in a crowd?
Looking this way
That way
But never finding anyone to embrace
Or to catch up with
Or to just say hello
It has to be something wrong with me right?
This can't just be coincidence
It happens too much
And each time it hurts the same
If not more
Tuesday 5th December 2023 12:21 am
Quiet Flower
I see a small field.
A flower stands alone there.
It looks at me, too.
I ask it a question now,
But all I hear is silence.
Monday 13th November 2023 1:40 am
Winded
I wait patiently for you
Because that's all
I ever learned to do.
But I also learned
To breathe in
And to breathe out.
Yet here I am in your presence,
Completely winded.
Tuesday 31st October 2023 2:32 am
I Look For You
I look for you in other people
In her and him and them and us
I look for you in glances and in between words
In anger and laughter and tears
I look for you in other things
In a campfire or painted nails or the way I cross my legs
I look for you in a closed door or a sink full of water
In shoelaces or tractors or that one rooster I saw on the side of the road
I don...
Tuesday 24th October 2023 2:33 am
Heavy and Tired
I brace myself against the wind
I hold tight to the blades of grass
But the wind is too strong
And I am too heavy
I bury my feet in the ground
I find the roots and don't let go
But the soil is loose
And the tree is dying
I lock eyes with the sun
I sing my praises to the moon
But it's too bright
And the moon is tired
Friday 22nd September 2023 2:19 am
Open Tides
i am
afraid
that if i
know
someone i will not
stop loving them. (why do i fear
the open tides. why are oceans
dark and mysterious.)
*Inspired by Jamie Oliveira's poem named Erosion*
Thursday 14th September 2023 2:51 pm
Will You?
Who are you?
Oh how mysterious you are
I wonder what things you like
And what you do day to day
I wonder if you put
Honey in your tea
And if you like yellow daisies
And watching the sunset
I wonder if you like fall
Or maybe the springtime
And if you like to read
What books do you prefer?
I wonder if you see me
Looking at you
I wonder if I c...
Monday 11th September 2023 5:21 pm
Blurry
My camera is blurry and I can't breathe
I see people passing by and I think maybe I should talk to them
But then I don't and they're gone and I'm alone again
But it's my fault that I only talk to shooting stars
And it's my fault that the rippling waves don't move for me
And I know maybe I should try harder and be better but I'm so used to having no one and nothing
And these days...
Thursday 7th September 2023 11:43 pm
The Time We Spent
The time we spent picking blackberries in the backyard
And collecting spring onions and waiting for that strawberry bush to bear fruit but it never did
Or rolling downhill and getting rashes and making beds out of hay
There was a time where we swam until we couldnt see through the dark
Or ran until we couldnt breathe but we kept on running because we were scared if we stopped the happy...
Monday 28th August 2023 3:59 pm
Every So Often
I can't feel the weight of you anymore
The heavy feeling of emptiness no longer pushes on my chest
But every so often
I'll think of your hands
One on the steering wheel
The other in mine
Every so often
I'll hear your voice
Loud like falling timber
But soft like rain
Every so often
I'll see your face
Faded slightly in my memory
But handsome all ...
Sunday 27th August 2023 1:56 am
You Knew
You told me I could
So I flew
You said I should
So I left
You knew I would
So I did
Wednesday 23rd August 2023 4:52 am
I'd Give You The Sun
I would give you the sun
To make you happy,
And buy the moon
To help you sleep.
I would steal the rain
If you were thirsty,
And share the wind
To help you breathe.
I would grow you trees
If you were lonely,
And pick you flowers
So you'd feel pretty.
I would do anything
To be with you always.
I would never blame you
For something that...
Tuesday 15th August 2023 5:21 am
To the Lone Star
I flew on a plane
For the first time last week
To Dallas, Texas
When we lifted off
I almost teared up
At the view of the world below me
Where the trees were green
And rivers flowed
Where clouds were fluffy and white
And rainbows filled the sky
I am so incredibly grateful
To see our world at an angle
Where I could appreciate the smallest things
...
Thursday 29th June 2023 6:07 pm
The World I Created
I created a world
Where you were here
Holding me still
Despite it all
The world is coated in fallacy
And dumb hope
and lost love
And grief
So much grief
The world is yellow and bright
And filled with stars
And surrounded by flowers
And it holds all that is good
All that is beautiful
The world, I know,
Is not real
For how could anything...
Wednesday 14th June 2023 4:37 am
Graduation
After my graduation
I walked around and waited for my family to come and find me
And It felt oddly familiar
Standing alone in a crowd
Where everyone was being
Embraced and hugged and together
It is an empty feeling
That was the epitome of my high school experience
And I felt like maybe I was not ready for the world just yet
I was scared to begin my life
...Tuesday 23rd May 2023 7:09 pm
A Rainy Day
Yesterday it rained like the sky
Held all the sorrows of the world
And had finally released them
Onto the black pavement
How could sorrow be so beautiful?
The raindrops hit the ground and I felt
Like the world exists so that we may view
The beauty that is rain and sky and clouds
I stepped out into the pouring tears
And could feel the water cling to me
Like...
Friday 28th April 2023 6:42 pm
Springtime
Clear skies and sunny days
Tall trees and retro shades
The smell of BBQ in the air
The joys of spring we shall share
Wednesday 26th April 2023 2:41 pm
Understanding
I realize now that love
Should not be painful
Nor should it be given
To those who do not deserve it
I realize now that life
Is short and fast
So I should be happy
With the time and people I have
I realize now that I'm
Only a person
But I am so complex
And beautiful and alive
I realize now that we
Are all struggling to live
But we are all tog...
Monday 24th April 2023 2:26 pm
Dial Tone
I called you last night.
"Hello?" "Hello.."
I wish I could have replied.
I would have said "I love you"
Or maybe even "I hate you"
I miss you so much it hurts.
Thursday 13th April 2023 2:07 pm
Only Beginning
I'm not sure
How relationships work
Or what to say
When you tell me I'm pretty
I know nothing
Of the cues,
Hints, and meanings
You put behind your words
I don't know how to tell
If the look you give me
Is of disinterest
Or shyness
I have no idea
How anything works
Or how anything stays
So, why don't you teach me?
Thursday 30th March 2023 1:46 pm
Yearning
I yearn for something
I can not yet touch or see
I yearn for something
That does not belong to me
I yearn for it like rain
On a hot summer day
I yearn for it like children
Who wish their father could stay
I yearn to be the future me
Who has everything I want
I so desperately yearn to be
Everything I am not
Tuesday 7th March 2023 1:37 pm
Forgetting You
Forgetting someone is slow
Like dirt being washed off you
As you bath in a river and
It all flows downstream
You forget their voice
And the way their mouth moves as they speak
You forget the way they walk
And how fast they could run while you tried to keep up
You forget the music they like
And how beautifully they could sing
You forget the way they smile
...Friday 3rd February 2023 1:46 pm
Ask Me
Ask me where I come from
And I'll tell you about white cotton fields
And honeysuckle vines that cling
To rotting wood fences
Ask me where I am
And I'll describe a lonely, sunken house
Resurrected by a lonely, hurting family
With nothing left but eachother
Ask me where I'll go
And I'll say somewhere, anywhere
But here in this empty town
Where memories make...
Friday 27th January 2023 8:03 pm
Storm
Today the world is gray
The clouds hang drearily in the sky
They threaten us with heavy rain
The coming of a storm is nigh
Wednesday 25th January 2023 1:40 pm
The World Sings to Me
I love the sky in all its hues
All its yellows, reds, and blues
The break of dawn, the setting sun
The colors of a life begun
I love the flowers and the trees
The way they sway in the breeze
The blooming buds and prickly stems
Will make me happy 'til the end
I love the water, gently drifting
Just the sound of it is uplifting
The oceans and seas, ponds and la...
Friday 20th January 2023 8:00 pm
In My Corner
In the absence of you
I have found myself
Tucked away in a corner
On the highest shelf
Covered in cobwebs and dust
I sat there all alone
And waiting to be seen,
I wished for a life of my own
When you had gone away
I decided to look up above
And saw myself sitting there
Just a person who deserved to be loved
Thursday 12th January 2023 7:04 pm
Moss Garden
Take me to your garden
With flowers of red and violet and yellow
The lilacs and daisy's are waiting for me
Beyond this wall of sorrow
This great big stone wall with overgrown moss
Moss grown from pain and boredom and betrayal
Why is it that moss grows on damp places?
Why does it cloud my vision and crawl on my face?
I've scraped and pulled the moss away
But it ...
Sunday 11th December 2022 1:30 am
Little Flowers
I used to pick little flowers
Out in the backyard
They were scattered here and there
And finding them wasn't too hard
I'd gather a bunch
Then sit in the grass
I'd pluck the petals out
Carefully, as though they were glass
"He loves me, he loves me not"
I'd repeat the saying
And when I got love
I'd smiled and continue playing
Tuesday 11th October 2022 4:30 pm
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