I did not cut the lock. The door was open. True, she didn't exactly open it herself. Her butler opened it for her. His name was "Boredom". She said "boredom, fetch me a plaything". He said "very good ma'm",  and putting on his white gloves so the fingerprints would not show, he tapped at my heart and I thought he said his name was "love". 

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At the age of 4, I learnt not everyone is innocent.

At the age of 10, I learnt police don't arrive in time.

At the age of 12, I learnt how to plan safe sex.

At the age of 13, I learnt to drink.

At the age of 14, I learnt to sleep in long sleeves. 

At the age of 16, I learnt how to walk again. 

At the age of 17, I learnt how long a broken heart takes to heal.

At the age of 19, ...

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I am the air floating from room to room, 

I open my mouth, too often, too soon, 

Eager to feast and chained to a wall 

Watching myself from the skies, waiting to fall 

I am within from outside 

Begging to be seen, screaming to hide 

How high the moon is, how high was I 

I am the branches on the trees,

Swaying with hope and too eager to please 

Crying with the rain in the...

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I wish I were the Master of Peace,

there'd be no tears of war, no suffering, no grief.

No evil, No corporations, No governments and No Police.

I wish I were the Master of Pain,

For it's such a sweet, pleasurable learning.

No anger, No shame.

I'd teach those who exploit, that our life is not your gain.

I wish I were the Master of Place, 

I'd spread my wings from ag...

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This is inspiration from the ice breeze, and cold realisation with my love. 

Has it always been this cold?

I don't remember shivering so often. Nor my back cramping in pain.

Something is changing. Something is different. 

As weather patterns come and go, so do you.

Why?

How can it be that the amount of love I need, doesn't need me.

Doesn't come to me. Blows over my skin, ...

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I am in the sea.

I feel pulled under, my left arm ripped off,

My head so heavy with words of everyone except my own

This world makes me feel like I'm so unusual, that I'm a visitor. 

Everybody sees a portion of me, but never all of me. 

In an ocean I am drowning, with the way I'm "meant to be" pulling me under

I have fallen into a pit of cement 

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Torment is

Our bodies together
Soft skin on soft skin
Entangled tightly
Spooning
Your breath heavy on my neck
A kiss goodnight on my back
My lips
start to relax
Warmth begins between my hips
Pulsating
Mind racing
My lips
start to drip
My desire
A scented aroma
Fantasies begin to play
Body begging to be played

A silent moan

A loud resentment 

Don't let it feel good, ...

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Pumping fast to the heart
Blood
Skin feeling warm
To the touch
Inside and out, love flowing
It's flowing
Again
Into your veins
Another day,
Lost
An offer,
Again
Of a blanket on the grass
Your love in a cup
The warmth on our skins
Under the sun, like you planned
Time and time
Again
I've stopped my demands
Always promised
Always empty
If I were a substance
Could I get your love
...

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Overflowing like a river

On repeat over and over

I hear it

Too much

I am

Too much

My skin as thin as paper

Too thin

Always set on fire

Reactive in the wind

Too windy 

Every day my skull hears my frustration 

My ears 

hear it from all different voices 

Your voices 

Stop, I beg my self

From myself 

To myself 

Too late

Now I hear my voice 

Y...

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I am more than my sexuality. My job. My pleasure. My image.

I am my past

my future, my lessons,

my life, my heart, my fears.

My skin aches to be loved and my eyes to be seen,

my ears to be heard,

and me

.. me... ME... to be seen.

My passion, is not simply created and finished between my legs,

between my thighs,

but flows within my body like glitter in the wind.

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My face, screaming in silence.

Unable to contain myself, unable to hide

What's inside

Muscles forming without consent

Ripping through my flesh in dismay

Stop

They say

Look at yourself

Again, again, again, today.

For my emotions cannot be silenced

My insides demand, demand, demand

To be released 

Stop, they scream at me

Do you know how hard it is to be around

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