When your in my dreams it's bitter sweet.
I can see your smile
Hear your voice 
Feel your touch
Taste your kiss
Smell your skin
But when my eyes open your gone again.

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I miss you the most on Friday and Saturday nights
Whether you were here with me or on the phone
When we would be settling down for the night 
Making plans for the weekend
Saying goodnight
Now all I have are horrible thoughts and images running through my head

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Day after day the shards of my broken heart cut deeper and deeper, searching for the piece of my soul that no longer inhabits my body.

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Everyday it gets more and more real.
When I see your name on our son's emergency contact list
When I want to message you about something dumb someone said at work so we can laugh
When I can't reach for the phone to call you
When I pass by one of our spots 
Everyday is lonely 
Everyday is miserable
Everyday I lose you all over again.

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I will crave your touch until we meet again.

All I can do now is close my eyes and hope to dream of you.

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It gets harder and harder each day. 
It's constant sadness, loneliness, heartbreak, confusion, anger and what if's.
It literally hurts.
It never stops.

So much of me went with you.

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What do you do when such a huge part of your EVERYDAY life is just gone? A complete void that appeared instantly overnight.

You have shoes here, a toothbrush, clothes that I've slept in almost every night for the past 2 years, tons of toys/games you bought our son, things you bought me, your #1 on my speed dial, your profile on Netflix, our cat Spooks that you named, everything is still here......

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