Dear all,
I just thought that this would be a better place for all the unpleasantness, instead of taking precious space on the blog section. Fill your boots.

Graham Sherwood is no good
Chop him up for fire wood!

Take that! You rotter!

John Coopey - your face is all greasy - you must have worked up a sweat - go and have a wash!

Isobel - your nose is too big - keep it out of other people's business... (thought I'd spare anyone the agonies of pondering over my imperfections).

(Tu me fais rire, Isobel !)

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love. ~Sophocles

Francine - you've been smoking too much grass. Soon you'll be riding round on motorbikes in short skirts with strange men - or with strange men in short skirts even...

Suffice to say, I want whatever you're on!

Latrine eh? How dare you sir! I am bowled over by your vulgarity!

You're just a bunch of dirty capitalists, you lot. (Let's make capitalism a swearword!)

What a Capital idea!

err, it already is

Bankers!!!

Francine, will you be riding your motorbike through Hebden Bridge? and if so, when?

Are you hoping she'll make the leap from bike to barge Winston? Perhaps I should warn you now that she only rides pillion...

You could give her a croggie, Win.

You've ruined my life you FAT UGLY PIGS!

Now now! This is all getting a bit out of hand! (Great!!)

Fat ugly pig yourself Steve Regan. You're a low life would be scouse sell out - betraying your Wigan roots to go n live on the poxy Wirral....

Tssssk - shame on the thievin bones of ya....

LOL...
I had no idea what pillion or croggie meant - the things we learn about on here!

Love and kisses to you all... : )



p.s. Winston - I'll see if I can catch a ride over on my next visit ; )

Aha, I look forward to that Francine!

The british slang for giving a passenger a lift on a bicycle made for one has various interesting names. Backy / Back-seater / (and from where I come from in the East-Riding and obviously elswhere) 'Croggy'

Win (2 wheels good / 4 hooves bad)

Hey, we're getting off track here - everyone's being too nice to each other! I'll have to think of something really nasty to say! Francine - your necklace is too BIG!!xx

I can't actually remember what giving a passenger a lift on a bicycle is / was called in Wigan .... but I think I can remember what is was called in Suffolk ... a "seater".

Also, playing truant...in Wigan (in my day) it was called "whacking off" school but elsewhere other things such as twagging etc.

Ann - do you really think so?
It's the only one I will wear at the moment... I love it, and I always get so many compliments - someone always wants it!

I don't remember what we called giving a passenger a lift on a bicycle either... I just know that the few times I tried to give rides - they ended up on the ground! I took rides from those who were bigger and stronger than me, and it was a lot of fun and quite a rush - I always liked to wriggle around to see if they could keep steering without crashing... : D

Steve - Ummm... REALLY?
'Whacking off' means something totally different over here...

No of course I don't think your necklace is too big Francine - I was just trying to send up the idea of this thread - being nasty. Not that I want to be nasty to you!xxxx

(And it was bunking off school at Greenford Grammar!)

skipping school in wigan is NOT whacking off it's 'wagging it'!!! whacking off is a much more fun pastime though lol

I only ever bunked off games lessons. Esp if it was raining and we had . . . dancing with the boys! YUK!!!! All the girls had to sit down one side of the hall and all the boys on the other and then the boys had to walk across and ask a girl to dance. No one ever wanted to dance with me :( And it was all waltzses and foxtrots anyway and I have 2 left feet when it comes to them. Even tho I groove round the kitchen on Sundays now! :)

Well I remember 'whacking off' - though not literally of course cos I was a good girl and turned up to school every day - even when I had to sit near the rough ones and get a hell of a lot of flack for just being decent.

I've found a huge variation in the name we call those black slip on things we wore for PE. In Wigan they call them pumps.

Ann - your hat is too jaunty...

We called it skiving? Pumps were called plimsolls! a lift on a bike was called getting a backie!

It's nice to see everyone friends again. Just proves the point, the bog, carsie, dunny, loo, porcelain telephone is a good place to get things off your chest.

Pumps!!
ha ha excuse my childishness ( is that even a word? ) but pumps is just one of those words that can't help but be funny. Like plop and girth and even wibble!

I used to give girls from the local Grammar a croggie (= crossbar, Francine). It was only when they got off they saw it was a lady's bike!
As for "whacking off" - it's just a juvenile phase I'm going through for the rest of my life.

Kath, I think your next poem should contain those very words! Maybe it could even be next time's competition! Like the excercise Thomas has been showing us how to do lately.

Oh and Isobel - you're too slim - I HATE you! (xxx)

You are all nincompoops and popinjays - so there! (And I feel excluded because no one has slagged me off yet!) Go on, do your worst . . .

In my childhood Oldham, pegging off, as I am doing right now. Pumps, too, though when I used the term on my teaching practice near Durham it brought the kids into fits of mirth, as pumps there were farts.
When you were pegging off in Oldham the 'school board' came looking for you, a hand-me-down from the Victorian era; now the education welfare officer I think.
If kids were being naughty they were told, "stop that or the master'll get you". The master was the stick-wielding supervisor of the young children working in the mill.

Look! This thread is about bein' 'orrible to each other! RIGHT??? SO!!!! Julian - your memory's too good - I remember at the WOL Big Weekend how you knew ALL our names off pat - some sinister devilry at work I am sure. Comeon, out with it, we need to know! xx

You guys are bonny bonkers! 'Pillion' was the back seat of a motor bike in Bermuda. Love the updated local vocab.

Been away for the week-end and I've missed so much!

Ann - I think I'm slim cos I've got a horrid digestive system - eat too much and I'm plagued by plimsolls... That plus the hard work of running round after 4 kids - you're welcome to borrow them for the summer holidays if you wanna give it a go...

Going back to pumps - a friend of mine from Warrington (which isn't that far away) used to call them 'sand shoes' in her school and I've found odd variations across the country.

Ann - you are not too good at being nasty, are you? Accusing people of being slim and having good memories isn't quite going for the jugular. You'll have to take some lessons from me... ;-) xx

I'd love to have a go at slagging you off Anthony - but I can't see you!

I do believe that I once slagged you and a few others off in a poem though, calling you a 'pen poised back room boy' and then to add further insult 'page poet, Mr. Knowit, all prick bubbled, pritt sticked, dip shit...'

You'll have to dine out on that...

Ha, pish, pah and fie! My cat has thrown worse insults than that! You are so low you could crawl under a snake's belly wearing a top hat, lower than whale s**t in fact. If brains were paper you wouldn't have enough to wipe your bum! You are a bescumbered, whey-faced paltroon!

Ne-ner ner ner-ner!

That should be poltroon, actually.

We never had feet.

:-)) That is because you are another Ironside, Ray - by profile at least...

Daps! That is the one I was thinking off Steve - just didn't know if I imagined remembering it...

Anthony, you cur! I happen to have a very large bum... Paltroon, poltroon??? she says, reaching for the dictionary...

Hmmm... Plimsoles? Daps?

Kath - have a good laugh - pumps are known as women's high heeled shoes where I come from!

Where are you Darren? You could tell us the linguistic origin of some of these crazy words...!

Don't suppose you've any pictures of the pumps, Francine?

While we're insulting each other, have to say I miss Gus's awful dress sense. So bad that it was good. What's happened to him? Haven't seen him at an open mic for ages.

I saw my friend from Warrington today. Their word for pumps was galoshers - sand shoes must belong to the North East.

Galoshers, for me were those horrid rubber shoes that went over your ordinary shoes. They used to wear them years ago.

Re Gus - I rather like a flamboyant dress sense - though I shouldn't say that since this is a nasty thread! Let's hope we never ever see him and his crappy poetry again!

And as Black Adder said to Baldrick..."You long thin string of bats piss"..so there to no one in particular!