Well it happened

the universal fear

I washed my phone in the washing machine

it was a stupid mistake

I left it in my pant pocket

when I threw the pants in the washer

the phone sloshed around for a good 20 minutes

now I have the cleanest phone in town but

it won't work

it just sits there like a rock

a dead thing

it wont light up, it won't turn on,

it won't ring

we put it in a 10 lb. bag of rice

but that did no good

later, so we just ate the rice

and threw away the phone

the problem is

I lost all my stuff

my apps

my contacts

my self-respect

and now people laugh at me and point

if you ever want to become

a professional fool

go to my University of Stupidity

there is no entrance exam

and you can graduate

in 3 months

Magna Cum Moron.