Pressed together on a rail allotted

with a row of trousers I became besotted

a clearance sale I couldn't refuse

with dark and pale subtle hues. 

 

The selection tempted me to try

a pair that hung and caught my eye

something right about the colour

camouflage green but slightly duller. 

 

Behind the door of the changing room

disrobing I began to fume

with heavy change and a bunch of keys

my jeans half mast below the knees

 

I finally removed the familiar Wranglers

wrestled with the latest stranglers

whose waist was much too small for me

'twas then my wife called out to see

 

enquiring with a gentle tap

my voice came weakly through the gap

while struggling with unfamiliar flies

and tapered folds around my thighs

 

teetering there like Worsel Gummidge

continued with the fruitless rummage

then put an end to the sordid affair

and left the trousers hanging there.