John Togher

The Psychology of Doodles

by John Togher

Wednesday 8th September 2010 1:38 pm

You curl up with the phone,

favourite pillow on your lap,

coffee on a settee’s arm,

ready for conversation.

As you dial you pick up a pen,

doodle on the back of a bill

the face of a clown with stars in his eyes,

You tell me of your empty day;

soup and ham sandwich,

a queue at the bank,

and I groan and console

in all the right places.

I draw with a pencil

on a discarded envelope

a chaotic spiral without end.

As you utter words of goodnight,

I sketch your face in rough;

cartoon eyes, button nose.

A sweep of a fringe too long.

A dimple too perfectly placed.

As I put down the phone

I slowly erase you

like the darkness rubs out the day.

◄ How To Fix A Broken Man

A Man Walked Into A Room ►

Comments

darren thomas

Fri 1st Oct 2010 14:16

I'm sitting at the back of the North Stand, watching from the heavens at what gets played out on this muddy, failing pitch - but yet once again Togher you collect the ball in your own half, shimmy past two midfielders, nutmeg an ailing defender and curl the ball into the top corner of a net from thirty yards out. The crowd go bongo...and while the linesman may be flagging for improper use of a 'semicolon' the referee overrules him and gives the goal. 1-0

Val Cook

Thu 9th Sep 2010 20:00

I like this John, start to finish excellent.X

John Darwin

Thu 9th Sep 2010 17:59

lovely stuff, in an I've been there I was that man but I couldn't have written it' sort of way

Chris Dawson

Thu 9th Sep 2010 11:24

Can't add anymore to what's already been said - excellent stuff.
Cx

winston plowes

Thu 9th Sep 2010 09:34

Hi John. Loved this one. Realism and mundane start and a dscriptive middle and then a perfect end. The last line is one of these perfect phrases that you think someone else must have used or you may be remembering reading it before. This linked with the clowns face the spiral and eraser images ties everything together in this gentle gem. Win x

Rachel Bond

Wed 8th Sep 2010 23:01

this is a great poem john, and a description given earlier, it is succint.

i worked on an art project for college on the sketches of andre breton whose art looked at this kind of imaginative thought-dissociative drawing.
i used my doodles from the back of the yellow pages where i would scribble away many hours of phone conversation
there were some pretty black spiders and repetitive triangles that must have come from a conversation with authority of some sort...

i like your reference to the losing of illusion, of sight fading with night...changed perspectives.

brilliant xx

Cynthia Buell Thomas

Wed 8th Sep 2010 21:07

Fantastic poem, John. The theme is immense, yet captured so succinctly with the power of a blow in the face that I just gulped, as though I had been hit myself.

Isobel

Wed 8th Sep 2010 19:16

You are quite possibly right Ann. It's just that I don't associate that mundanity of conversation with a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship - much more a long term married thing - and even then... don't think I ever regaled my ex husband with the contents of my stomach for the day. Hey ho - I do my best to interpret...

Francine

Wed 8th Sep 2010 17:08

Very intriguing, John.
What I am most focused on is his 'chaotic spiral without end', and the last verse:
'As I put down the phone
I slowly erase you
like the darkness rubs out the day.'

I see these as signs that he wants out... The chaotic spiral without end represents how he sees his life, and 'I slowly erase you' represents his wanting to get rid of her somehow... Hmmm...

Ann Foxglove

Wed 8th Sep 2010 16:28

Surely the two people are on the phone to each other so there's no confusion Isobel? I'm thinking that the chap is so familiar with the (presumably) lady on the other end of the line he is picturing her with her favourite cushion etc, and knows her so well he can imagine exactly what she is drawing. As to the stars in the eyes, they are the eyes of a clown - so maybe not so good!

Isobel

Wed 8th Sep 2010 15:41

I've thought about the phone some more. I suppose you must be mentally disconnecting - that is probably quite a significant line.

Cate Greenlees

Wed 8th Sep 2010 15:23

This is really good John. I like the subtle way the doodles highlight the underlying currents under the mundane conversation. Very ominous that she sees you with stars in your eyes, and you "slowly erase" her when its finished!
Cate xx

Ann Foxglove

Wed 8th Sep 2010 14:50

I really like this a lot. You've implied so much about two people and their relationship, just by their doodles. x (Mine are always spirals coming off more spirals. God knows what that means about me!)

Isobel

Wed 8th Sep 2010 13:44

I prefer this to 'Paper' - same underlying theme but expressed more subtly.
Not sure how it has ended up being her on the phone and then you putting it down at the end. The very different perceptions of each other are neatly described in the doodle idea though.
It works well as a poem. x

If you wish to post a comment you must login.

Please consider supporting us

Donations from our supporters are essential to keep Write Out Loud going

Bringing poetry to people

Click here to donate now