Andy N

Before the Curtains Open

Friday 21st January 2011 1:59 pm

Before I open the curtains,
close your eyes
and listen to the
soft, almost
invisible breeze
sneaking in and out
of my window still.

Before I open the curtains,
listen to the nervousness
of my every touch
as I gently blow
over the tip of your hair
so it feels
like an imaginary comb
stroking your head.

Close your eyes
and listen to the branches
rustling in the distance
and the leaves dancing all
over the pavement.

Listen to the rain
falling down from the sky
and also dripping slowly
from my soaked gloves
onto the floor.

Listen to the sigh
at the end of my
every sentence
as I whisper
good morning beautiful
as I open the curtains
and watch the sea
limping over the shore
before stumbling
to a sudden stop.

But most of all,
listen to the pain
of the water
as it tries over and over
to get across the sand
like soldiers
getting forced
backwards
but never giving up
across a landscape
of random impulse
before I opened the curtains.

And before I kissed you
with all of my love.

(An video of this been performed can be seen here )

◄ Percy

Perfect Place ►

Comments

Andy N

Wed 9th Mar 2011 08:06

thanks melanie - glad you liked it.. means a lot to me that x

melanie coady

Wed 9th Mar 2011 07:46

loved it hun

Andy N

Mon 7th Feb 2011 08:12

Hi Tom, David and Win;

Cheers for the comments on the poem.

This is one of those poems, I must admit that started
Off that started in one direction and ended up in totally
Another if that makes sense, but it is a snapshot really
Of a recent memory if that makes sense.

But glad you like it

Cheers – A

winston plowes

Sun 6th Feb 2011 11:09

Andy, missed this. Been working lots recently and it is my loss. Actually having met you a few times now I can hear your own voice reading it and your own particular energy that you put into it (rather like you did to great effect with your lost relative poem at butterflies recently) loved "the sea
limping over the shore" then loved more the futility of advancing soldiers on the sand. Brilliant it could have an analogy with a D Day landing. One of your best Andy. Enter it into a comp for valentines day :-) Win x

Tom Harding

Sat 29th Jan 2011 12:01

this is a lovely poem. so hard to write something so simple, so lilting without falling into cliche.

David Cooke

Sat 29th Jan 2011 10:25

Hi Andy I'm playing catch up on WOL. This piece is wonderfully cadenced and hypnotic. Maybe you're the new Pablo Neruda! Just one query. Do you really need the last two lines, especially the last one which really just summarizes everthing that the poem has already hinted at. I think it would be more powerful to finish with the previous stanza and to change 'I opened' back into the present tense. It would be more enigmatic and be a powerful echo of the the opening. I always hesitate to teach people to suck eggs. Only saying it because I liked it!

Andy N

Wed 26th Jan 2011 08:13

thanks to all for your comments - i'm really touched - never expected a reaction like that.. maybe i should stick to writing love poems in future! lol x

Elaine Booth

Tue 25th Jan 2011 23:24

Wonderful poem, Andy. Some beautiful images.

<Deleted User> (8943)

Mon 24th Jan 2011 08:47

What a gorgeous piece Andy;
"listen to the nervousness
of my every touch"

"leaves dancing all
over the pavement."

"limping over the shore
before stumbling
to a sudden stop."

"across a landscape
of random impulse"

I absolutely adore these lines
My only contention is with "rain falling down from the sky" The direction and point of origin seem redundant to me as rain can't do anything else unless its going sideways which then paints a different picture but other than that lovely images and a superb dreamy quality. Thanks for sharing your tenderness :) x