Donations are essential to keep Write Out Loud going    

Nurikabe

Traveling by night, to regain the tribe.

Infinite, invisible walls

misdirect

impede

impossible to skirt.

 

Our friend,

from our tents, we sense

your distress

We long for you to fill the empty place.

We pray your nurikabe

materialise

so your eyes

may know them.

 

We pray strength for you

to demolish the walls.

We will lend ours.

 

Strike the lower part.

Destroy nurikabe.

If stubborn

go around.

Our prayers will ensure

they no longer extend forever.

 

Journey on

toward the light

towards the morning.

Follow your heart.

Find the tribe.

 

Laura and I agreed to post our Nurikabe poems simultaneously, without

knowing what the other person had written. Nurikabe are invisible, infinitely

extending walls in Japanese folklore which impede and obstruct travelers

by night. We’re all traveling in the dark meeting invisible walls, so it felt

like a good one to have a go at.

◄ Thou

Hippies ►

Comments

Deborah Jordan Bailey

Mon 7th Nov 2011 13:39

love this one Dave, beautifully expressed and written and so very relevant to me on a personal note right now, the day you posted it especially.that's what good art does though,offers you something in harmony with the artist...i feel this one comes from a different place from many of your other poems and I think, for me,it's one of your best.I've never heard of the nurikabe but they materialised for me that night you posted this, and i'll know them next time I see them..but nothing will stop me searching for that tribe.. thanks for this today,am glad i called by, Deb xx

<Deleted User> (7212)

Wed 2nd Nov 2011 21:41

Norick Abe was a motorcycle GP racer of some distinction...

<Deleted User> (6315)

Wed 2nd Nov 2011 17:14


Great to read both Dave..Like the way that others offer strength when another is struggling..lovely write :)

Profile image

Ann Foxglove

Wed 2nd Nov 2011 05:32

I found this very uplifting. And the idea of you and Laura both writing on the same subject - made me pine for the days of our WOL competitions - what happened to them? They brought the site together I think.

Profile image

Ray Miller

Tue 1st Nov 2011 20:46

A spiritual We're Going On A Bear Hunt! In a nice way.

Profile image

Elaine Booth

Tue 1st Nov 2011 20:21

This has a lovely tone to it, Dave - it is so prayerful. There is a real sense of faith, that the paryers of the tribe will ensure the nurikabe does not prevail. Really good experiment. Enjoyed reading both poems and found it very interesting how you each imbued your poems with your own personal sensibilities. Knowing you both added a special depth to my appreciation. XX

Profile image

Francine

Tue 1st Nov 2011 20:15

This is inspiring - love the ending!

Philipos

Tue 1st Nov 2011 17:08

Another piece of knowledge acquired in an essentially well described work. Well done. What you can learn on WOL eh!

Profile image

Laura Taylor

Tue 1st Nov 2011 16:12

Hahaa!! :D

Ace! Interesting how you mention seeing them so that eyes may know them, and about destroying them - I did that too :D

I like how yours has prayers in it, and mention of a tribe. I see the people I connect with as part of my tribe :)

Also see a link between ours with certain phrasing.

edit to add: I find this really touching actually. And...kinda relates to how I've been lately. And my friends looking after me :)

Well - this was FUN! I would totally recommend others having a go at this :)

If you wish to post a comment you must login.

This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.

Find out more Hide this message