(A tongue-in-cheek look at Selby)

  

Raindrops on pavements the size of plum puddings

Means that in two days that Barlby’d be flooding

“Who’s nicked the sandbags?” as leakages spring

These are a few of my least favourite things.

 

Trolleys and beer cans and fresh doggy-doodles

Left on the towpath by loose-bowelled poodles

Scooped into Tesco bags tied up with string

These are a few of my least favourite things.

 

Where’ve the ships gone?

Where’ve the mines gone?

Wasn’t Woolworth’s sad?

I simply remember my least favourite things

And that’s why I feel so bad.

 

Dealer with pit-bull which snarls and it gnashes

Peddling escapism in eighth ounce stashes

Gives you bad nightmares just like Stephen King’s

These are a few of my least favourite things

 

Airborne pollution is unsatisfactory

Pungent aroma from town’s pickle factory

Traffic at peak times to rival Beijing’s

These are a few of my least favourite things.

 

Where’ve the ships gone?

Where’ve the mines gone?

…..etc

 

Bans upon “A – boards” which obstruct our walking

But there is no choice as there is no parking

Full into action the Council now swings

These are a few of my least favourite things.

 

Drunk on a night-time gives you a good kicking

Looking for doorways to find to be sick in

Into his black van the good bobby flings

These are a few of my least favourite things.

 

Where’ve the ships gone?

Where’ve the mines gone?

….etc