Somewhere out there in the
Ether
Raymond M
Entreated verse
Naming him and faming him and
Duffy isn’t here, so
I thought that I could try, but
Post a rhyme that breaks his rules
Insert a line break here and there, finish them with ‘so’ and ‘and’, then make them long and short
This will teach him to desire shallow eminence from fish!
Yes Ray, not a Miller, but a Taylor playing God!
LOL - excellent, Laura - made me smile.. x
Thanks again folks - made me titter to write it :D
Cheers Anthony - aye, probably not eh?! Sounds quite zen-like when you isolate that phrase!
Hahahaa Ray - love it :D
Excellent and so quick too!
Very funny response, Laura : )
And I'm still laughing at Ray being chuffed to bits...
This poem reads so oddly that
budding POET LAURA T
could yet be POET LAUREATE
give or take an extra E.
This isn't the first time I've been in someone else's poem, actually, but the other one was by a Welsh person so it doesn't really count. Then, of course, there's Kate Moss's love poems, but they're still subject to an injunction. Poor girl never knows when to finish a line.
Anyway, I'm deeply offended by this notion that I have poetry rules and suchlike. Some things work better than others is all.But I'm not one to carp. Or to be koi, for that matter.
Hi Laura,
I'll bet the phrase "desire shallow eminence from fish!" has never been uttered, written or, come to think of it, imagined! You are unique!
Ray should be chuffed to bits! (No, I don't mean run over by a train!)
Regards,
A.E.
*chortle* cheers earses
Steve - you're terrible, Muriel :D
Isobel - you know, I find it surprisingly easy to break Ray's rules - I just write, and hey presto! ;D
Ray is conspicuous by his absence. Some people are just SO ungrateful!
steve mellor
Thu 2nd Feb 2012 16:11
Laura - if I could offer a little advice :-)) - shouldn't the last word on the final line be 'cod' and not 'God', thereby linking the line above's 'fish'
This had me very foxed cos I read it before I read Rays - and I thought you wuz taking the mick...
Now I've read the pair and it's given me a good chuckle - so thank you for that. I like the way your poem breaks all Ray's rules Laura - it's not easy doing that!
Very clever Laura, you little tinker!- well done Mike
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Barbi Touron
Mon 20th Feb 2012 17:53
I love the direction you took this.
"This will teach him to desire shallow eminence from fish!" - love this line
and the shape is quite beautiful too.
Well Done.