(with acknowledgements to Bob Dylan)

Hey, Mr Gabardine Man

Give a flash for me

I’m not prudish so let’s see what God’s bestowing you.

And hey, Mr Gabardine Man

Give a flash for me

Don’t hide your dingle-dangle organ

They’re not following you.

Outside the Barnsley Empire

So proudly you would stand

With your chopper in your hand

Showing off your swollen glans

To your following of fans

Keeping conk for police vans

How we jeered their rotten, spoilsport interference

But, sad to say, your luck ran out

Your fortune had to drop

When a young ambitious cop

Kinda caught you on the hop

So your climax was a flop

And he sadly made you stop

“The Last Turkey in the Shop”

Your routine which brought about your court appearance.

So Hey, Mr Gabardine Man

Give a flash for me

I’m not prudish so let’s see what God’s bestowing you.

And hey, Mr Gabardine Man

Give a flash for me

Don’t hide your dingle-dangle organ

They’re not following you.