I had a bream

It got away

It shot upstream

To my dismay

I just caught a minnow

With my rod that day

Next time I’ll go to bingo

I’ll catch the matinee

I came home empty-handed

And low on self-esteem

So there and then

I told my mates I’d landed

A bag of thirty bream

(By half past ten)

I had a bream

It got away

It shot upstream

To my dismay

 

I had a pike

It broke my line

Beside the dyke

The rotten swine

I bet a twenty pounder

It snagged me in the weeds

I started then to flounder

And finally concede

I came home empty-handed

And scarcely sportsman-like

So boldly swore

To my mates I’d landed

A thirty-pounder pike

(And seven more)

I had a pike

It broke my line

Beside the dyke

The rotten swine

 

I had a roach

And reeled it in

On its approach

The pike ate him

I’d caught it on the waggler

With maggot as my bait

It fought like Marvin Hagler

It didn’t capitulate

I came back empty-handed

My mates would laugh

When we met in The Bridge

So I purchased a sub-standard

Cod at Mermaid Café

Straight from the fridge

I had a roach

And reeled it in

On its approach

The pike ate him

 

I had a bream

It got away

It shot upstream

To my dismay