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And when we were sat in the Odeon

the day after the social worker phoned,
Remember To Leave Reality At Home
the voice from behind the curtains boomed.
She said Ray, have you left ‘ality at home?
I nodded and laughed. She frowned
and asked What is ‘ality, Ray?
as if I were The Light, The Truth and The Way
and would never dream of letting her down.

And when the school report suggests
she’s below average intelligence
I recall how she came up with this
House Mouse - that rhymes
Dog Frog - that rhymes 
Bollocks Wollocks - that rhymes

and I know that she’ll go far, this kid. 

And when some social worker’s statement
describes her in her current placement
as settled, happy and confident,
it strikes me like a punishment
and I realise that we’ve been wrong
to make believe that this was home.

And when the kindly voices ask
did you find it hard not to get attached?
I should wear my failure like a badge,
bare the wound and let them scratch.
But I’ll bite my tongue and shake my head -
Writing is like drawing, she said.
Draw the poison that burns the bone;
remember to leave reality at home.

 
 
 

 

◄ He knew the score

Wild Geese in Tesco ►

Comments

<Deleted User> (11683)

Fri 29th Nov 2013 17:32

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Isobel

Fri 29th Nov 2013 12:45

Really emotive stuff, for me at least - I think I would find it hard not to get attached.

I'd agree with Laura that the penultimate line is a powerful one.

I think you could work on the voices within this piece a bit, to make it clearer just who is saying what. Perhaps you could give the child a name and add just a little more detail about the Odeon.

All in all, a lovely piece.

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Laura Taylor

Thu 28th Nov 2013 14:37

Nice and tight this Ray, and I think that penultimate line is one of the best I've ever read.

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