(Played on my home-made 3-string petrol can guitar)

 

Well I’d bought my ticket and I’d paid my fare

I’m flying to Almeira and its beaches there

Yes, I’d bought my ticket and I’d paid my fare

It cost me just a tenner – that’s good old Ryan Air.

 

I paid another 50 as an Admin Fee

I’d booked online, so that’s another 3

The girl on the check-in says “The seats aren’t free.

They’ll cost another 20”.  “Of course,” I said, “silly me!”

 

But now we’re flying and the plane is up

I ordered a 5 pound coffee to sup

The steward took my tenner and said, the cheeky pup,

“That’s £7 total (with £2 for the cup)”.

 

The dolly brings the meal out and says that it’s pork

She says she’s new to Ryan and that she’s from Cork

It costs us £12.50; she beguiles us with her talk;

But wants another fiver if we want a knife and fork.

 

It’s time to watch the movie, so that’s just what we did

It’s scarcely cutting edge – the movie was El Cid

I watched it without sound until we passed Madrid

You could listen through some ear-phones for another 7 quid.

 

We’re nearly at Almeira as the schedule planned

We’ll soon be on the beaches and the sea and sand

The pilot on the tannoy says, “There’s a charge to land”

It’s 40 quid by VISA or 30 cash-in-hand.

 

Well I’d bought my ticket and I’d paid my fare

I’m flying to Almeira and its beaches there

Yes, I’d bought my ticket and I’d paid my fare

It cost me just a tenner – that’s good old Ryan Air.