The cave resonates with space
light bleeds in from a low sun
unseen from the interior
a blue disc is softly rising
claiming the coruscating horizon
on the even floor of the cave
freshness prevails
Williams - Fortesque is crouching
a meal is prepared
smoke spirals in slow tresses
caressing the high roof.
He hums an often traversed tune
learnt on Earth
for this day has a meaning
and the long ascendance
of his birthday has arrived
the sun seems to know
the blue disc sees all.
<Deleted User> (13762)
Sun 30th Oct 2016 10:00
Hi Ray - just doing a catch up and enjoying this one. Looks like David and Stu have it covered and your reply adds the extra dimension. I like that you wanted the whole thing to hang on a thread of doubt - poetry should allow for that element of self-interpretation - it gives the reader something to do other than just be the reader and your admission of being inspired by the windows 10 screensaver is terrific - how wonderful that we find inspiration in the most unlikely of places - and better still that we distil these images, thoughts, experiences etc etc into poems - another definition (to me) of poetry and why we write.
I'm liking the sci-fi element here too - 'learnt on earth' - that extra unexpected dimension that throws everything off-kilter and our minds have to switch warp factors to keep up. But what is especially enjoyable is the referencing back to all of those old Boys Own adventure stories of exploration and derring-do through the wonderful Williams-Fortescue. You had me Googling his name to check if he was real.
I was also reminded of an old book I read called Lost On Du-Corrig or 'Twixt Earth And Ocean by Standish O'Grady (published 1894) about a man trapped in a cavern.
Thanks,
Colin
Stu, I can quite see your analogy to 2001, who could better that with its sense of dislocation ? I thought of the blue disc rising first and then the Windows 10 screensaver of a cave. I just got lost in it and left it at that. Thanks for appreciating the potential imagery.
David, why did put in the double barrel ? I remember a TV doc. about quantitative easing funds being siphoned off to buy inner London properties as investments, and how one of the bankers had pulled out of the life and was building a fire in backwoods somewhere . This was quite a compelling tale and I must have used that subconsciously. Yes, you would understand that lone - ness - I wanted the whole thing to hang on a thread of doubt. Maybe the birthday is a consolation , who knows?
Valued comments both.
great stuff ray!
it has shades of the opening few minutes of 2001 for me, the blue disc being some form of monolith, ever present but somehow hidden. possibly this william fortesque's birthday has emboldened it, much like the apes discovery of weapons emboldened the black monolith to take the next step towards evolution.
or, you know, i could just be reading in to things again...
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raypool
Sun 30th Oct 2016 18:47
Thank you Colin for your great resume and added thoughts which are gratifying in terms of more interpretations that may occur if you indeed leave an opening in a poem for that. I am so pleased that this was picked up on and had thought it might just have bombed. Yes, the double barrel name could be a Victorian gesture ! I'll check out the book thanks. ( Could even bring to mind Fingal's Cave beloved of Mendelsohn ).
Thanks again. Ray