He used to make this  beautiful battenberg cake

Each colour clearly separated

The dense yellows and pinks staining the sponge

Beguiling to the eye as the knife sliced through

Almondy marzipan and syrupy borders

 

We sat in the car after the church group

He told me how he’d been a chef before

And how his ex used to beat him up

A nervous man always watching his step

He said it took him forever to trust again

 

I saw him on the train

A couple of days later

With a Tupperware box of sandwiches

Wrapped in greaseproof paper

Sat, pouring strong coffee from his tartan patterned

Thermos flask

 

He said he was visiting the big gothic library

Returning his books sixteen miles away

A long way just to borrow them I thought

I asked him what he'd been reading

And he showed me a sturdy rattan shopping bag

Filled with books on composers

Mozart,Haydn,Debussy among the names I recognised

 

I was classically trained once

He said, eyes beginning to glisten

Back when I had a life

I notice his attempt at a smile

But his chin begins to tremble

And I awkwardly try to change the subject

 

He told me how he'd eat 

In the top cafe's

How he and his friends would drink wine

And visit theatre's regularly

How he'd cook all the time

And hold small dinner parties

 

The city loved him and he loved it back

He’d been happy here once years ago

Before she’d taken ill and needed help

No one else would look after his Mum though

So he moved down the tracks and took his place

On the gritty estate

He stood out like a sore thumb

 

I know this is wrong of me he said once

Trying to gauge my reaction

But the young man I held hands with in prayer

At the meeting is always on my mind

I think he felt the same way about me

 

But i’ve been told that God won’t accept me

A leader told me god loves the sinner

Not the sin

Not my Homosexuality

He told me it was an abomination

I feel dirty now

He said 

Looking down 

 

Over time James stopped answering the door

 

 

I didn’t speak up though I felt the same

I saw him again one day

On the train, smiling

As I waved him over, and we chatted

I don’t agree with them you know I said

If you feel that way then you feel that way

 

He smiled, opened the foil, and we shared the cake.