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FILM NOIR

The flash of a blade on giddy steps,

the camera a sniffing dog

searching for clues in puddled dark. 

 

Two shadows meet with desperation

then flee from prying eyes. 

 

Passionella waits in the sombre light

of a dingy room,

looks down at the street

watching for watchers,

the gauloises glow. 

 

A soft knock comes.

He is there with his crooked smile,

offers her pernod,

haunts her in familiar bars. 

              - 0 -

 

The window looks out on a sad canal,

blue lights disturb the water;

in the room signs of a struggle,

a hint of cheap perfume lingers,

life goes on. 

 

FIN

 

 

🌷(7)

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Comments

<Deleted User> (13762)

Wed 9th May 2018 19:24

I should do it more often and demand commission ?

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raypool

Wed 9th May 2018 17:53

Welcome Frances , I,m so glad you dropped by. I was pleased with this offering - it was to be in an anthology, but a poem about Psycho was chosen instead ! (Posted here by the way). I just checked Wim Wenders . Obviously a good choice for your studies. I added the last verse on Colin's prompt for more!

Thanks so much, appreciated.

Ray

Frances Macaulay Forde

Wed 9th May 2018 04:16

How did I miss this?
I studied Wim Wenders at uni - Film Noir is one of my favourite genres.
So of course, I was taken in straight away by your description and smells...

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raypool

Sat 5th May 2018 10:09

Duly noted Col! I hadn't really considered the eau de poem, but you make an excellent point. Modern life seems to be bereft of the wonderful variety of smells I was brought up with eg; gasholders, old hardware shops, tobacconists, railway carriages. The list goes on. Vive la variety I say ( oh and I forgot garage work areas).

FIN AUSSI.

<Deleted User> (13762)

Fri 4th May 2018 22:27

extra verse noted and appreciated Ray. 'Fin' sounds very final so I shan't expect any more!

btw this was a very smelly poem what with all that Gauloises and Pernod and now you've gone and added cheap Eau de Parfum. I can feel my chest tightening up!

FIN.

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raypool

Thu 3rd May 2018 19:30

Thank you Anya , it's nice that you enjoyed the content of the poem. Stu likewise. I suppose I was after a feeling of threat reminiscent of Don't Look Now, which is I think one of the great films (Nicolas Roeg director). I feel there are so many ways of expression in the poetic cannon that it is a real challenge to hit the sweet spot. I might be there this time.....

Much appreciated. Ray

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Stu Buck

Thu 3rd May 2018 14:10

great atmosphere captured and i love the abstraction of it. a real 'make of it what you will' poem. one of your best i feel.

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raypool

Wed 2nd May 2018 22:25

This was an idea I wanted to bring to life in a filmic context, so I'm so pleased with all your comments.

David, especially like your mention of the 3rd Man, bringing to mind the Harry Lime Theme on zither, which was a hit when I was a kid. I think black and white was the best medium for stark qualities of the genre, and also the subtleties. It seemed to have its origins in Germany, or at least Europe, and was picked up by Hitchcock. A sort of primordial recipe for all things intrepid and fearful. I was thinking too of Maigret. It's nice to watch these old films !Keep in touch mate.

Hi Brian, what a great track that is. Thanks.

Col, I think you should be respected for that comment, so I have added another verse. Cheers.

Hazel, very nice of you to say so. Praise indeed!

Cynthia, nice to hear from you - glad it worked for you.
Thanks.

Much appreciated Graham. I respect your comments as much as I do your poetry.

Jennifer, welcome ! As I mentioned above, I did think of Maigret. The books were always excellent to read. I quite like the Rowan Atkinson re-incarnation of recent times.
Thanks for that.

Trevor, Hannah and Rachel thank you so much for the likes.

Ray

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jennifer Malden

Wed 2nd May 2018 20:17

Great reading, (as usual)! Can almost see it happening in murky detail. Maigret or Simenon?

Jennifer

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Graham Sherwood

Wed 2nd May 2018 13:51

Yes you’ve well and truly nailed this Ray.

In fact the last verse says it all.

Good work indeed!

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Wed 2nd May 2018 12:40

Great idea - well-crafted - vocabulary innovative and very readable. Much enjoyed.

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raypool

Wed 2nd May 2018 11:20

Thanks all - I thought i'd add a bit more storyline, especially for Colin. I'll come back to this later, hopefully....

Raymondo.

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Hazel ettridge

Wed 2nd May 2018 10:06

Totally captured the whole genre. Magnificent.

<Deleted User> (13762)

Wed 2nd May 2018 07:51

ooh nice - didn't want it to end...

<Deleted User> (18980)

Wed 2nd May 2018 07:23

Off at a bit of a tangent...Watching the Detectives by Elvis Costeloe came to mind.

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