Subtlety ? forget it.
Put it in and you'll regret it,
Might as well talk to yourself
in an empty council toilet.
LIke any private moment, wasted,
someone's sure to spoil it.
Most of the readers will miss your point
then move to something safer.
So make your gestures obvious
for easy quick consumption.
Nobody likes to think too hard
without the wit or gumption.
elPintor
Wed 3rd Oct 2018 23:46
I've been caught talking to myself one too many times, Ray. Subtleties have a way of taking on the air of private jokes--even the hecklers get more laughs on the outside.
Still reading though not commenting much, lately,
Rachel
Thanks Brian, fair comment.
Big Sal, I like to paint a picture, even a tacky one. It is really about a lonely voice in the wilderness. Thanks.
Thanks Taylor, i'm pleased you read my stuff, cheers!
Martin, for God's sake don't give that up - it adds depth to words even if it doesn't always pay off.
Jane, can I be clever? I just enjoy the thrill of words and what they can do. Thanks a lot.
Quite right Mark. There you have it. That old chestnut rhyming will always surface - it's just a tool and shouldn't be elevated above all other expression, but it's a great ally in reaching the parts. !
Thanks.
Thank you Darren, I appreciate the subtlety of your comment, a sort of stalemate, mate. And I like it.
Deeply ironical, David. You're right about metaphor, which often can be missed. Like walking down a corridor of locked doors.
Much appreciated everyone!!
John, Rachel, Jon and Anya , thanks very much for the likes.
<Deleted User> (19421)
Tue 2nd Oct 2018 07:15
Eh! What's your point Ray?
?
Nice one
Cheers
DJB
The message is clear and rhymed to please folk like me.
My late mother used to say about some: "Too clever by half". Therein lies the danger - of layering a message a
shade too much by using "terminological inexactitude" (as
J. Rees-Mogg said of J. Corbyn recently in Parliament).
I endorse the value given by other comments to use of subtlety. although, like irony, it can be missed by
inattentive unaware minds. But that's their loss and should
not dissuade a writer from its practice and the pleasure it
gives to others.
<Deleted User> (19836)
Mon 1st Oct 2018 20:58
I like the cleverness in this piece!?
I sometimes think that I am too subtle for my own good. Who needs subtlety all of the time
Nice one Ray
Like it Ray..thank you..?
Big Sal
Mon 1st Oct 2018 18:24
First stanza reminded me of a scene out of an old mob flick where Frank Vincent is not-so-subtly arguing through the bathroom door while he does his business.
All fluff and no subtlety. Forget it, Ray.
?
<Deleted User> (18980)
Mon 1st Oct 2018 17:45
Subtle I like Ray, but too subtle puts it into the obscure area which is where I start to struggle.
Nice piece, good rhyming.
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raypool
Fri 5th Oct 2018 20:51
Thanks for your comment Rachel. Cute! I appreciate your stopping by. Be well.
Ray