Evening Rach-aw welcome to the soppy club! don,t the bowsers just break your heart?.nuff said.thanks for comment-Stefanx

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Thank you for lovely comments. I really enjoy finding the images to go with the poems, I feel it's part of it. xx

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Good morning pickled Gloria-(no change there then)my horrendous queerhawk(i.e. wife)is so sorry you are not a trick cyclist,she would have loved to give you a ride on her bike-it is,nt fitted with bags of sugar as your CASTERED and not castored furniture seems to be.(thats a ner-ner to your usual poor spelling) lol!good job i,m here to check up on yew- yours,in a nutshell,effinSteffinxx pee-ess-nearly your birfday? not sixty already!(chorkles)

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An early morning ps. you told me you were bilingual-for jeez sake,tell me not you are bisexual! if so,I just happened to have a photo of the wife handy-in all her lovely grotesqueness!Stefalaf.

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Evening R.M.-having now learned the meaning of flummox-can you just spare a further few moments and tell me the meaning of-life/love/and the meaning of poems were your arse is hanging off the couch!back to the sanatorium-Stef

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Evenin Maccers Inc.You flummox me?HA! what does flummox mean Aunty Rach? keep wellying on w.ol.-Stefchopsx

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and now I'm imagining a chap gyrating his bum over the cup in order to create the authentic Mr.Whippy effect.
That's chocolate ice cream out for me for a while then! :)
- would you like a flake in that?

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Glad you enjoyed 'Martin' although I'm afraid it must count as a bit of a failure on my part. It's a true story and was meant to contain a bit of adolescent homoerotic longing as well as the story. I edited it out of a piece about twice as long. I was going to submit it for my final OU piece...but I think I've turned a semi-decent poem into a piece of whimsy by too much trimming. Still, the OU didn't say it had to be a 'serious' piece so maybe a comic piece will do. I've got to write 500 words about how I wrote it. 500 words on how I fucked it up would count?

Anyway...glad you liked it and many thanks for commenting.

:)

Jx

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Och! wee McGladders! yeer tae bezzy wortchen pappy on tha pooper tae be drenkin annyways!de ya nae ken whys a be afterrr a wearin' a the wee respiratorrrr!ye mans always on tha parp am a thenkin'-Stefan'elp us all!xx

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Yep, dirty bombs! :)
Rach
x = touche !
seeing as this subject is so close to many hearts, I'll post another in a very similar vein - you won't have to search too hard

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Thank you for your so kind comments. I may have added a two word last line since you saw this poem. Maybe let me know if you think it improves or detracts! (Or doesn't make any difference!!) My poems pop out all at once and then the thought of adding or changing anything gets me in a state of seething angst! (Well, maybe not that bad!)

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Hi Rach-haha too re poo! one day I swear! I,ll take you away from all this madness and bodily waste-we will grow old together like two old and mothballed camels,and sing hymns in the loo! excre'mentally yours-Stefpan.(nearly bedpan but not quite! shite!)

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ta Mrs M-re-only me n the queerhawk-ah! but for the failed wings of youth,the encroachment of time,the obligatory impression of Mr potato head,and ale spent coffers-wouldst thou surely have been falling at my size twelve-feet that is!but if I win the lottery-and have a head transplant with george clooney-i,ll get back to you.How dare that man of yours belittle your reputation on here-tell him from me,he is a cad and a boundah-this could mean flintlocks at dawn outside Asda-in your poo-em there was no mention of,when in times of constipation,calling for your betrothed to run up stairs with a pair of scissors and deleting the exposed, withdrawing the rest into the interior.funny poo-em though Mr and Mrs Mac!-Stefan.

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Hi Rachel ;-) Thanks for taking the time to comment on my latest poem..... much appreciated ;-)
luv TC X

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Good morning Rachel and kiddlywinks?Thanks for comments re We Who Have Won.Do I need to return this leaf I have taken out of your book?Keep on inspiring me-but no sharing of royalties!lol!-Enjoy your day O versedly perfect one.Off to tape 'me bonny lass of a programme-when the boat comes in!lots of love-Stefanx

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Hi again! Spring is def. on the way! I felt a bit low when I got stuck indoors when it was icy, also, I need to walk at least a couple of miles a day, cheers me up and makes me feel less fat! But (don't tell anyone or they'll have a laugh) I have invested in a slendertone belt - it seems to administer electric currents (otherwise known as shocks!) and makes you all thin and wonderful (?) Anyway, it is a very peculiar feeling! On the instructions it tells you not to put it round your neck, round your head, or on your genitals! ( A bit of a tempatation, that one!) I'm sure there is a poem in there somewhere! lots of love from a very svelt Anniepoo xxx

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Hi Rache - nice to have you back - where you 'bin, doing your ironing? Or practicing iambic pentameters? ;-) I NEVER do ironing. I'ved lived here over two years and haven't unpacked the iron yet. My idea of "downsizing" was to give my ironing board away! Thanks for your comment on Moon Girl. lots of love Annie F xxx

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hi I should say thanks to all for comments; and thanks to the two people I captured in words, see I was the passer--by, and they were such a lovely scene that a poem came on (that's why the passer-by stopped to say hi while she grabbed pen and pad from bag, and then I moved on but kept looking back watching as the finally made it, held hands walked down to the trafic lights crossed the street, squeezed each other and yup, she smelled the rose...and it WAS a rose a yellowish one...lovely scene. I am not a voyeur I am a poet and refore I the beauty in life.

I must say they were pleasant to me when I stopped, considering..maybe they thought I'd report the theft of a rose from the public park, or maybe they were too loved up to even care!

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hi there rachel, thanks for your comments on the "scarey thoughts" poem i thought i would get lynched for writing it ;)hehe

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Hi Rachel,

Thanks for the comment on my 'wall' or whatever I'm supposed to call it!

Interesting reading your stuff here. Hope you continue to get opportunities to do open mic and other performances - it's definitely a good way of getting your own 'voice' and meeting other people who enjoy the spoken word.

All the best.

Simon

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I too have seen that very same barge... near to Stockton Heath...

Thank you so much for your thoughts

Augusta xx

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Hya Rache - my grandma used to call me Fanny Fanackapan when I was little and being awkward! I want to be a hedge witch, got books about it and everything! When I wrote this poem it had a cheerful ending, "my love still has its fingers crossed" or some such rubbish, but then I woke up one morning with the miserable ending, which is better.

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I shan't delete it. yep I was after honest feedback and nope I'm not in the least offended. I have a thing for Stephen Fry (pointless I know) and Dara O'Brien too....you should see me watching Mock the Week and QI.
As for writing lots, I have a one track mind at the mo and it's to the detriment of everything else...Bills....ironing...pah!... there's a poem to be written. Actually I go through phases, seems to be a prolific phase at the moment, maybe it's hormonal!
Rachel
x

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Glad I haven't offended - you seemed to be asking for honest feedback and critique. Yes, you are right about the first few lines being the ones missing rythm and it gets better thereafter. I seem to naturally prefer a structure where the lines are not all the same number of syllables. I don't consciously sit down and work them out though - I just read it to myself until it sounds right. I have got this book Stephen Fry wrote called 'The Ode less Travelled' which tells you all the different rhyming schemes. I keep meaning to read it - it seems good or perhaps I should invent my own and write to him with it. LOL. From a page perspective, your poem is great - beautiful. I always tend to see things from performance cos that is my first love. Wish I could write as much as you - I have become a bit lazy - I read a lot more than I write. Should put this in an email, rather than clog your profile - feel free to delete once read. x
ps Atonement is a dead miserable book with an aggravating ending - have you seen the film?

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Hi Rach - I don't recall the prog of which you speak, I think I'm millions of years older than you. I was struck by this new thing where you seem to have to have two newsreaders, always a man and a woman, to let you down gently when they tell you the news, on local stations anyway. And they always seem to have to flirt with each other. Gets right up my nose - so false!

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Thank you for reading and commenting on "Timeline". You are too kind.

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Hi Rachel, The synopsis of the synopsis is: lost love from a third person's perspective who later writes a novel detailing the affair of her sister and a young man. War intervened. But the author changes the end to make it a happy reunion. The novel is written some 50 years or more after the meeting of the lovers. Brilliant book (2001) by Ian McEwan and later a beautiful film (2007) .

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Hey, just passing by to thank you for my comment, really appreciate it!
When i get the time i'll have a read through the rest of yours, i have read 'The balloon' and really like it, i love the ending :)
take care! xx

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Rachel, well done on winning December Wallop! happy new year! xem

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Many congratulations Rachel. It's no surprise to me.

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just popped on to wish Mrs Mac congrats as wolop December winner-deservedly so! now wheres those'Stockings?-keep well chuck-Stefo

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Oh Crikey! Just spotted it. Thanks very much (big big cheesy grin)
xxx

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WELL DONE RACHEL :-) You are a walop! (Not a trollop! Well, who knows! But great!) Might help you deal with all the snowball fights with the kids off school and all! xxx

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Thanks for your comments - you were very kind. I've written better but not for a long time. Decided to just let go of that one before it got added to the pile of unfinished.... xx

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Rachel, spent half an hour reading all of your stuff, enjoyed it very much.'Dad' stood out, very clever. Look forward to seeing more.


John

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Ta for comment on my nail scissors poem, not really a very good poem but I wrote it to remind me of what I want to carry on doing when the summer comes! Roll on that time!!

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hi Rachel-belated thanks from prodigal chops to say ta el mucho for comments-and! do not include copying my habit-slagging ones self off-in your case,totally without reason-all the very best for the New Year rach'-Stefamungus

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Happy Christmas, wish you lived next door, I'm sure we would be best friends!!

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Rachel, glad The English Teacher brought back so many happy memories! The bloke in question lived well on into his 90s. I wrote the poem when I heard of his death.
I really admire your Little Clock for its consistent, patient rhythm and meticulous language, painstakingly dealing with a subject that in other hands could be too painful for words. Greg

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Hello Rachel, with regard to tips on freelancing, send me an email (off the site) in the New Year and I'll try to answer any questions you might have. Bang a few questions on a list and I promise to reply. Graham

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Thank you Rachel.

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Hi!!! Thanks so much for your comment i really appreciate it....i jus opened my blinds this morning and thought wow!! Inspiration! Lol....im gunna av a sneaky look at some of your stuff....thanks again i look forwarf to more of your comments!! :) x

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Hi Again Rachel

Thanks for reading and commenting on my poem 'Ghazal'

Win, Keep posting.

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Hi Rachel. Yes it most probably is the file size. It should really flash or something and say "too big Too big" but it doesn't and just goes off and sulks. I have noticed that sometimes it takes a while to change if you change a picture however. Easy to resize by opening a pic in paint and pressing 'image' and resize. Or as you say alternatively get a teenager to do it! lol. good luck Win. If you have no joy please ask again

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Hi Rachel, thanl you for your comments on Cosmic Fairy. glad you like it. its happy, unlike my other work. a bit better for the festive season.
I love your work too. and am particulary struck by your piece "dad" - brilliant, striking and very sad and touching. Wonderful similies and metaphores in there too, they build up such a strong image of the dad. well done. take care and have a great christmas!

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Seconded, thirded, fourthed and fifthed. Wonderful debut. As someone once said to me...'Now, you either have to write more or travel further!'

Excellent stuff.

: )

Jx

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Rachel... Can I just say that 'Dad' is stunning. Looked at it late last night and it'sstill in my head. Brilliant. Win

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Hi Rachel, Welcome to WOL. Enjoy... You havemadequite an impression as a new member. winston

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Hello Rachel, a very warm welcome to WOL. Loved reading your poems. 'Spring Cleaning' has literally blown me away, but not like an 'autumn wind', more like a breeze of incredible inspiration! What a fantastic imagist you are. It's like seeing a short film inside my head as the message reveals itself through your words.
You're one to look out for!

Admiringly, Ally ;o)

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Thanks very much, you lovely people. I am feeling a bit overwhelmed (in a nice way)at the comments. I'm unsure as to the etiquette yet (hey, that rhymed!) so I'll post a heartfelt thanks on here and then settle down to have a gander at your profiles and thank you 'personally' when the kids are asleep.
Cheers,
Rachel
x

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