Scared

there’s a war in my head between 

Me and my worst enemy 

a giant monster of fear and shame 

telling me I can’t ever change 

And every time I step out to take a risk 

the monster screams and shouts “you can’t do this” 

cause “who are you, and what do you have to say?”

i know you, and I’ve always kept you safe 

and now you can’t get me to leave, 

I’m bigger than ...

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A lone wolf walks amongst the highest peak.

See's the life of a bright beautiful moon.

The wolf stares in awe and howls, till the lungs feel weak

But notices the moon doesn't move.

He howls louder yet theres no change.

So he tries to climb higher so he can see.

He howls once more.

Mesmerised by a beauty that's so free.

The next night comes, in awe he howls again.

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I am at the pit of my breakdown

Saying goodbye to sleep I once loved

Food I could once eat without nausea 

Dreams 

That once allowed rest

Help me 

I pray 

Sitting on the floor sobbing 

Do I allow this pain to make me human

Or wish it away?

I bring these matters to You 

I cannot do it alone 

I’m still processing 

Picking out the safest part...

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Poetry is my 
drug of choice,

calming rain, 
rays of sunshine. 

an antidote 
to suffering,

waltzing words
on lonely nights,

my lost lover 
whispering
in my ear,

release, 
of fear,

wind beneath
birds in flight,

illuminating 
light,

immortality...

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What do you see

When your eyes land on me

What do you fear

When I am near

What is written on the wall

That's guarding you from all

I long to give to you

Do you know

Do you really know

That I would never let you go

Do you understand

I only wish to be with you

In the end

When I look at you

It's like the whole world is new

A better place for all

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Anxious vibes keep me awake

I have these vivid dreams at night

They tell me you are not alright

It eats me alive that I cannot call tonight

Every second felt so real

The headlights and broken glass

Sharp breaths that sound like your last

The blood on your shirt and on my hands

The way they tried to pull me back

All I could see was your hand, a cracked screen, and glasses...

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She is dead already,

those eyes have murdered her.

They shut her inside jars,

scream their pain, projection.

She needs not to sting humans

but she is overwhelmed.

Searching for open windows,

A chance to kill herself. 

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