it makes me sweat even now

such sheer terror left its mark

there's nothing worse than a

child imprisoned in the dark

she'd blame me for being bad

I'd struggle but to little avail,

hoisted in the black cupboard

dusty, warm, beyond the pale

bent in two and scared of mice

heard her laughter downstairs

something tickling my shoulder

the silk touch of spider's...

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I loved that soft pillow's

Safe cradle for my head

Nothing could hurt me

Protected from dread

After my parents died

Auntie took on my care

Left behind my pillow

More than I could bear

Never forgot that pillow

Not ever to be replaced

One of the traumas my

Troubled life has faced

Each of my later pillows

Joined a joyless queue

Until I shared y...

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I needed a pillow under my head

to support me

Not to cover my face

smothering me

Can't you see 

that's what you did to me?

---

I did not run to be mean

or control you

I ran because I could not breath...

---

But I needed a pillow

so I kept coming back

Hoping you would learn

to be by my side

Equal beings

neither better or worse

Existing to support e...

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morning again
my shoes
are still wet
from the rain
last night

i search
with small fingers
for the beginning
push of the light
the smell of oranges
still lingers on my pillow

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