“Fruits of over-thoughtfulness”

Even to my best of friends,

I couldn't talk.

Because of the thought,

They might;

Walk,

While I sulk.

I rather stitch My mouth,

Than to disturb,

the only person, I want

To converse with.

I am not solo,

Have solitude got my 

Back, when tired;

As all my plans got,

 back-fired.

What if all my companions...

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"The laments of imagination”

Everytime and every-other time,

I duelled with my life on- line,

Against those “worst-case scenarios”;

I created for the better

 for mine.

We always gone,

Toe-to-toe,

Each other's best foe.

“nah, I will win and give it a run”,

I think to myself.

While anxiety made me stun,

I got stung ,

And created a new river to run;

With...

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Every night i lie in bed

dozen scenarios in my head

thinkin bout how and what and when and where

every night you'll find me there

in my head

my secret place

in my mind 

my safest space

all those things i never find

confidence? 

i'd rather hide 

brave enough? not the case 

but in my mind 

my safest space 

i can be what i cannot

i can ...

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The master behind my own downfall,

A slave to my eerie thoughts.

Wondering if I can break free and stand tall. 

The side they never talk about in sports. 

The minds weathered to achieve anything, 

But fear clouds my judgement. 

Disappointment builds up and the storm starts readying, 

Now caught up in the cyclone of my own cynical thinking.

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cling-clangs against my brain

feign solutions but they’re all the same 

feasts for frantic fissions 

unbridled, undeniably out of 

control

the drug I’ve always craved

but can’t do a thing other than

think

did I say it wrong?

did they hear me right?

I’m sure of it 

So unsure of it

I may be wrong

maybe all is well

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I don’t know where I’m coming from

and I don’t know where I’m going

if I don’t know this

what do I know then?

driven by insecurity

my mind tries to fill the void inside

searching for something that is real

getting trapped in the web

running in a wheel

make up your mind

and let the shit flow through

what’s important will stick around you

holding on to s...

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They say I'm a bit too much,
too much of everything.
Sometimes too caring and sometimes too irritating.
So here I am, under the constant worry,
'What if this is too much?'
So busy going around in my own head,
That I forget relations have to be maintained with the heart.

I'm afraid I don't know what I desire or deserve.
Is it wrong to anticipate a love of the same intensity,
or is it jus...

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Do you ever feel like you're the protagonist of a book?

Where the ending is constantly being rewritten and you're just waiting for the day that it's finally gone through all the edits and gets published?

But what happens if it's a novel that has 7 parts?

You might never even get to read the last written words or get to the final chapter of what you thought was your

"perfect ending."

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Sometimes I over drink.
Oops I mean overthink.
Ah fuck it, it's the same damn thing.

I over pour my glass leaving no room for coke.
The voice repeating in my head of the last words you spoke.
You ask why I'm self destructive but the truth is I dont know.

I'm starting to think that the devil is a lie.
The only evil we see is what we bury inside.
I'm going to lose to myself, it's only a ...

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