exes (Remove filter)
When His Words Become Hands
His words could become sharp as corners
And trap you there
Flailing in his grasp
They could pinch your skin
Until you cried
And cried
Throughout your shifts
They could catch your wrists and stop you
From moving on
From moving
They could lock the doors, no leaving
They could shame you and shrink you
They could come flying in from an open window,
A buzzing phon...
Monday 8th March 2021 7:27 pm
Five Dollar Words
To expunge them from my mind
That's the only thing I wish I could do for myself that I feel utterly incapable of doing
I'm at war with my thoughts and memories
Old wounds echoing in the present
Ripping my heart as fresh as it tore years ago
A different face, a different name
An altogether different entity and demeanor
But I can hear the words from your mouth as if he's spoken ...
Friday 4th October 2019 5:08 am
True Story
This is how messed up it was...
Last night, my husband woke up and was cuddling me, then touching me, then we both were wide awake in intimacy. It was beautiful. It always is.
Then after, the doubt creeped in.
Chris lied. Chris always lied. I would wake up in the middle of the night to him touching himself to pictures on the internet. Once I woke up and he was staring at pictures of a wom...
Monday 12th August 2019 6:03 am
Connections
I know you don't
want to think of me.
I don't want to
think of you either.
But the more I resist,
the more your ghost
persists.
It makes no sense.
Hardly a day goes
by that you don’t
cross my mind.
Some days
it infuriates me
that someone who
pushed me over the cliff
of obscurity
has a choke hold
on my soul.
Other days
I accept
what I cannot
compr...
Saturday 22nd December 2018 7:36 pm
What were they like?
They were the deciding factor
Of a good or bad day
Of whether I was okay
If we were okay
They could change my mood
Stop me in my tracks
Jumble my mind
Blind me from the truth
Like heroin
I was their addict
Ephemeral pleasure
Everlasting poison
By the end
I was weak
Lost
Stripped of all identity
And they appeared
In my dreams
...Saturday 29th September 2018 10:52 pm
Twelve
Twelve years and you still don't get it. I crossed that bridge packed my bags and hit it. No more tears I left my fears lying on the floor. I quit, I’m leaving and I ain’t coming back no more.
Sitting in a silent cave losing me while giving you one last save.
While I was trying to be what you needed, you started a journey and couldn’t complete it.
Walking around in the madness, you did you, and...
Monday 11th June 2018 8:50 pm
Trouble, Truth, and Reality
Fancy, free, doing whatever I please and not giving a f$ck about the consequence of my actions. I ran into trouble and I think I liked it. Chocolate fire. Wild and crazy, full of fun a laughter. We laughed and grew over the years. He gave me a glimpse of what a boyfriend could be. I left for school and he bounced in and out of lock down. Not quite what I wanted, but at that point I didn’t even kno...
Monday 11th June 2018 8:42 pm
Lover's Limbo
Just get over it,
Casual, callous, colloquial.
But love is like an amnesiac's boomerang
just when you thing you've forgotten
the love, and the pain
it swoops like a dragon
whose scales scar sentiments.
It usually hits you,
and even if caught,
it caught you by surprise.
Those who once captured your heart
now hold your heart captive.
...Tuesday 10th January 2012 6:13 pm
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