we might not ever know just how long the sky is 

take a walk 
and see how long the shadows cast 
'long this pitted earth 
loam buried neath the falling brass 
sediments, testaments, to the manufactured time
we wait.
the shifting tumbling, ferrid sands
cover greener pastures, laying dormant
and flags decay upon these lands

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Death warmed up
Dead weight 
Empty
Useless
Invisible 
Broken 
Slow combustion 
Pain 
Grief
Muddled 
Lost
Depressed 
Flattened 
Squashed 
Trapped
Stuck
Suffocating 
Confused
Weak 
Exhausted 
Enraged 
Pathetic
Stupid 
Ridiculous 
Every cell is sad
Has given up
Just an empty, breathing vessel.

Is this what it is like at the lowest point? 
Or is there further to fall? 
I...

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When I was 20 I went insane

Not faecal smearing insane

Or Hit me Mac insane

But that quiet

Creeping

Insane

The kind that eats away at the brains

Of everyday people

I was working in London at the time

Need I say more?

And it just hit me

(Mac)

I couldn’t move

I couldn’t breathe

I was gone

The city and the job had chewed me up

And vomited me out

Like...

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Tunnelling in the dirt below my feet
I've been digging here all week
carving this hollow so deep
today, I hit bone

This is heavier work than I imagined
surveyed the ground from beyond the fence
And we both agreed that this was right
but now the toil is breaking me apart

As a new day rises
I'm bawling in the shower
never knew I could feel this pain
with the taps turned up to ten
nev...

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