Under weathered daisies
allegedly buried, but mindfully present
an old-timer - well past his prime,
beneath a cold etched granite marker
in the gut-wrenching hope,
that she might willingly return
to  recall the pleasant times at his soil,
as he oft did at hers
   his unanswered love,
   his perpetual embrace
He would caress her with his stone
hands, devoutly wishing for the white heat
...

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We are reduced to WhatsApp now you’ve left

the ting tells me your specks of thought, no touch

I think you may be synaptically challenged, cheat

your triad of expectations; you, me and her!

If you are trying to separate us, send me messages,

unfurl your inner petals of speech so you can serve me

and I’ll dissolve them into cadences of text history;

a nexus of hope deleted and u...

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I am content to love you,

Knowing I will never be loved in return,

For it is better to give than to receive, 

And loving is better than being loved. 

The happiness the thought of you brings me

Is enough.

If I cant hold you in my arms, 

Then I will hold you in my thoughts 

And be satisfied,

Knowing that you live in my mind

And can never leave me.

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I hope the stars

Always twinkle for you.

I hope the flowers

Always bloom for you.

I hope the sun

Always shines for you.

I hope the moons 

Always bright for you.

I hope the sunset 

Is always your favorite color.

I hope your ocean’s 

waves are always calm. 

I hope your river

Always runs true. 

I hope the rain 

Never lasts too long. 

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Dreams of uncertainty

Light up the unsuspecting mind

Floating through the abyss

Needing to be fed by the void inside.

Forming a strange pattern

The illusion once affixed

Veers through the twisted labyrinth

Setting a stage for the hopeful to fall all over.

The heat felt is roused

By this fleeting moment

Mistaking it to be existent

Till it plunges us into a...

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I want to feel 

to feel you

Your energy

Your aura

Your soul

I want to feel

Feel anything

Love

Lust

Pain

I want to feel

Feel you near me

Around

Above

Below

Inside me

Midnight comes

Rouses me from frightening dreams

Sleep becomes 

Thy long lost lover

Lost to the sea

Many lives ago

I stand on the cliff

Dark skies hug me

Angry wat...

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There are no colours,
Time weights my lids.
And soon I see nothing more than time.

If you do not hold me,
I will be cold.
If you are not near,
How will I tell you all these things that I think?

There are no thoughts,
Dreams fill my brain.
Soon I, incapable of reason, will be permanently lost.

If you are not there,
I will be cold.
If you do not want me,
What use, all these things...

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Come then, Victory.
This lady has done with Darkness.
This day
Is too full of sadness.
But the war rages on,
See!

              She has no control.
              It isn't as she wishes.

"Come then.", saith the night,
"Take up this shroud of blackness."

                           She does its bidding.

"Come then.", saith blackest night.
"I am the Harness."

                 ...

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Wake.
          Feed.
                   Sleep.
                              Work.
                                        Dream.
Yet what is dreaming?
Laugh,
            Ache,
                      Turn,
                               And leave.
A spoken word. A broken friendship.
Heart burns. The party's ended.
The kind advance met with confusion,
There's nothing left to do, but ...

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I am like all those other lonely women;
My eyes are closing, from the stinging.
I am ageing with the best of them,
I am growing veined, waiting.

My HEART is a cog turning,
I have BARBED WIRE for a stomach.
My legs are PISTONS burning,
My GUTS are rubber.

And all my parts are rusted, aged, breaking;
Even my technology is out-dated.

My teeth are RAZORS, biting.
My EYES are funnels...

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You took the sweet-lipped child
                             as she slept in innocence.
As she danced, with the daisies in her hair,
                             at a picnic party.
And now, 
The sour-mouthed woman
                rises from the broken fragments.
And now you wonder.
And now you back away in horror.

See,
        The woman stands alone among you.
See,
        The anger ...

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I know what the future holds.
No warm embraces for this weary heart.
The shades of night breathe welcome to the day.
The memories flicker, with the firelight.
The sadness fades.
The blackness hides within.
I am one with nothing, once again.
But pain is free,
And I'll take any bargain, so it seems.
I'm wondering something in me hasn't changed,
I cannot weep.
I've had the anger.
My eyes ...

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And are you he?
No shadow softened sun
Could ever cause this fire in my heart
Alone,
Nor too, the lingering ember in the grate.
Oh, it is not the culprit that I seek - 
That seeks me too.
Oh, tell me, is it you?

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I've been falling apart for a union.
Didn't mind my mind's intrusion.
Even said,
                    "Hello Confusion."
Got fission,
Not fusion.

But, I've been dreaming about solutions.
Running the race in the wrong direction.
Living for a figment of my own imagination.
Hurting myself,
                        For no reason.

I've been walking the line of indecision.
Toying around wi...

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We are both naive young fools.
You do not see
What is in front of your face,
And I do not hear
What is behind my own.
We are both amateur players,
In a game with no rules.
You missed your sights,
But you shot me through,
And now
I am blinded by you.

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There are no longer words.
I have grown ancient listening.
I have grown a maze of wrinkles,
                                                     waiting.
If my eyes seem dull,
Remember they have forgotten you,
                                                          searching.
Forgotten life,
Seeking memories.

I sit, and watch the hunting.
Come and join me,
                          ...

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Can I help it, if I think you're beautiful?
If I love you, 
Must I spend my whole life being sorry?
When you smile, 
Something twists inside me.
Something fragile, so it ought to break
But doesn't.

Can I help it, if I think you're special?
If your name excites me,
Must I always try to hide it?
The cynic in me tries to squash it;
Dulls my voice, and makes me stiffen.
Makes my gaze see...

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It should not be a sad thing,
                            To be a friend.
But I cry at night, on an empty pillow.
And every day I dream about you,
And see your face, in shadows.

It should not be a bad thing,
                            To be a friend.
But every night I dream about you.
And in the day, I cry without you,
And give myself to sorrow.

        It should not be so maddening
...

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Show me the year it was -
I'll show you the seventeen it wasn't,
And the eternity it never will be, that follows.
Show me the memories - 
I'll show you the smiles forgotten,
And the shattered illusions, broken fragments.
Show me the point in living - 
And I will cut my throat on it!
Don't you know everyone's dying?
                                   It's all the rage.
Recognise the sound...

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I want to write a cheerful poem.
I want to sing a song of joy.
And clap my hands,
And throw my caution to the wind,
Not this misery, I.
This drivel,
                  without end.

I'd wear a dress of red and gold.
All laced up,
All softly flowing.
I want to joke, and laugh, and talk,
And brave this storm.
Not go in black,
Not me, this wreck;
This back-wind
                        ...

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She tried to smile,
She practiced it at home at night.
And how she'd act,
She tried to speak as if it were alright.
She even smiled,
        but mostly at herself.
They didn't care.
They didn't even notice how she felt.

She found that funny too.
She practiced for that aim.
As if it were the only goal in life,
And yet...
She wished they'd wonder, all the same.
She wasn't brave,
And ...

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On a broken stone, in a wide wild ocean,
A breaking girl, in a sea of tears.
A broken heart, and half a notion
To break away the rest of her years.

But the breaking stone refused to split,
And the roaring waves refused to bite.
So all alone,
And lonelier yet,
For nothing would take her life.

She thought of sleeping
Till she drifted away,
And so she did - 
And so she did.
She laid ...

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Note:     This is probably the most embarassing of the poems in the sub-theme of 'Unrequited Love'
             (Although there are a few other strong contenders)
              But, I wouldn't be doing the audience or the theme any justice if I were to omit this one.
              (I'm not sure if it is the zenith or the nadir)
              So, if you read on, don't say you were not warned.

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Can't get you out of my mind.
Can't halt your stay in my mind.
Can't halt my mind.
Can't hold my breath.
Can't hug death.

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Time to visit my 17 year old self, for the next sub-theme in Love's Tempest of 'Unrequited Love'.
With low self-esteem and low social confidence it was kind of inevitable.
But that's not the only way this particular storm can brew.

This first poem in the sub-theme, 'Reckless Abandon' is presented in two forms.
In its original version, and as a shaped poem.

The original version 

...

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When our ships met again in open seas
our eyes met in the salt air
under gull cries
a vow was kept
testified by Neptune
for sundry nereids inspirited
the disclosure of secret love

you are gentle,
& the wise know you,
my feeling was divulged to you
but I bear the curse of graves
previous voyages
strong vessels with wooden bones,
scattered at the bottom

a sounder ship is awaiting
...

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I think of you, chastise myself, 

And press your name away

Ignoring, stubbornly, the fact, 

You’re present every day

I don’t ask why I cannot help 

But seek your commentary

On every task, or smile of mine- 

A wish I cannot bury

I say, embarrassed at myself, 

That this affair ends now. 

This fantasy, this made-up game, 

I cannot keep allowing

After...

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