Humorous poems (Remove filter)
'Sign' of the Times (Reflections on 'Rude'!)
Apologies, in advance, for the rude words !
Folk who pee in public places (treating them as ‘loos’).
‘Concert-girls’, on partners’ shoulders, blocking others’ views.
Kids that kick your airplane seat whilst parents just ignore.
Gits who queue-jump at the bar -‘though you were there before.
Those who walk straight past you, without thanks .... or smiles.... or nods.
...Wednesday 6th January 2021 11:33 pm
“Old Heads on Young Shoulders”!
”You can’t put old heads on young shoulders!”, they say.
But I think that I may have ‘come-up’ with a way,
involving some sawing - and stitching - and glue
(and a bit of a ‘heads-up’, in just what to do!).
But, if I decided to give it a ‘bash’,
that would leave a spare head and a body (to stash)!
Which seems such a waste of a woman or man.
So, now I’ve develop...
Wednesday 6th January 2021 9:21 am
'Man-Sized' Issues !
So, now those ‘Man-Size’ tissues
are named ‘Extra-Large’ instead.
It’s another “sexist” issue
that is messing with me ‘ead!
It seems, the major problem
is all centred around ‘Man’.
Folk find this word offensive
but I’m ‘flummoxed’ if I can !
I’m fearing for the future
if this nonsense carries on.
‘Cos they’ll ban the ‘Man’ from everything
in fav...
Tuesday 5th January 2021 10:58 pm
Is "Statue"?
I met this gorgeous woman for some ‘afternoon-delight’.
When we ventured back to her place (well and truly ‘outta-sight’!).
We scurried up the stairs and very soon were ‘in flagrante’.
My clothes were off as she approached, in just her bra and panties.
We intertwined, to ‘moan and grind’, intent on pure ‘amour’
But soon were interrupted by the thumping of a door.
My lov...
Sunday 3rd January 2021 9:33 am
A Cheetah Ate A Pizza
A Cheetah ate a Pizza while standing on his head,
as a Llama in pyjamas was bouncing on his bed,
he laughed at a Monkey who wore a bright Pink frock,
while riding on the back of a great big toothless Croc,
His best friend is a Hippo who likes to sing a tune,
and pretends he's in a rocket flying to the moon!
Friday 15th May 2020 4:27 pm
A 'Valued' Friend!
A 'Valued' Friend!
Frank, tonight, is working late.
The doorbell rings; it’s Frankie’s mate.
“Liz, you need to know”, smiles Ken.
“Frank won’t be home ‘til half-past ten.
I said, I’d drop in, as I pass,
to tell you of his news, alas.”
“It’s nice of you to think of me.”
Beams Lizzy, “Would you like some tea?”
And so they share a brew and chat;
some thoug...
Saturday 22nd February 2020 1:17 pm
Don't Care~Don't Want To Heart It
{Don't Care~Don't Want To Hear It}
I don't care anymore
I don't wanna hear it anymore
Because I am moving on I am moving forward with or without you or without you in my life and that is your decision but choose wisely
Because when I walk out that door that means that I am closing the door behind me shutting you out completely and you will have the ever essence of what was...
Thursday 5th July 2018 4:36 pm
Lies~Lies And More Lies
{Lies~Lies And More Lies}
The lies always flowed from your wicked bitchiest corrupted lips that tried to effectively communicate with me like the demonic dog in you
But I would listen for the first few times then after that I automatically auto~tuned your old played out fake ass coward of a man that lives amongst the people in this world who wasn't a liar like you
And now...
Wednesday 4th July 2018 5:19 am
How Could You Miss Something You Never Had?
{How Could You Miss Something You Never Had?}
It's sad to say
that for a long
time now I
would be missing
you but in reality
how could I
miss something
I never really
had in the
first place
Yes it started
off by me
missing the
sound of your
deep voice
And the tender
touches of your
hand against
my skin
A...
Thursday 28th June 2018 6:40 pm
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