Humour (Remove filter)
haiku
Went to treat my nerves
Will come back in the morning
Drunk tender horny
Larisa Rzhepishevska
Thursday 15th November 2012 8:04 pm
Omniverse
The fish was from another time; in my time he was dead.
I stopped to look him up and down, he stared right back and said,
There’s consternation on your face, perhaps I should explain.
Keep it simple, I implored, don’t cabbage out my brain.
The explanation you require is one of elegance
And for a fish so dead, I thought he spoke with eloquence.
I sense your dread, the dea...
Thursday 8th November 2012 1:17 pm
Dear Facebook
A little poem that is very much not in my usual style!
Dear Facebook,
We have known each other a long time now,
and whilst I know you will always be there for me,
it is with a heavy heart that I must tell you the following:
We can no longer be together.
It’s not you.
It’s me.
Honestly.
I find I can’t keep away from you,
and I have so much work to do t...
Thursday 27th September 2012 5:51 pm
I Am Unique
I couldn't become the best.
I couldn't become worse than all.
I couldn't become as the rest.
So? What is left?
Yes, my dear friend Nick!
You have to know that…
I am unique! :)))
©Larisa Rzhepishevska (Odessa, Ukraine)
The 16th of September, 2012
Sunday 16th September 2012 4:35 pm
That's My Odessa
Odessa.
Early morning.
Sonia is yawning.
Her dressing gown is satiny.
This night was just a symphony
in a company of her Antonie.
She was sure he was her destiny.
All they did was in such a harmony.
With those thoughts she went to the balcony.
But … suddenly she has heard a noise.
It sounded with an irony.
It was her neighbor’s voice.
L...Monday 10th September 2012 10:31 pm
A Life Too Short
Sunday 12th August 2012 10:45 pm
Compy Dompy
I represent our client Mr Dumpty
He had an accident you may recall
And though some might regard him as a 'numpty'
We feel the blame lies squarely with your wall.
In short to watch the Royal pageant pass through
Mad throngs had lined the streets as mad throngs do
And Mr Dumpty being short in stature
Climbed your wall to get a better view
Our client was...
Wednesday 25th July 2012 9:12 pm
Feria - A Spanish Comedy
Feria - A Spanish Comedy by N.E. David made it as our first ebook. This is a lovely book in the wonderful tradition of Clochmerle but set in Spain rather than very rural France. It has all the ingredients, Fiesta, Terrorism, Paella, Love, Lust, lashings of booze, and cracking good read.
To buy in the UK visit http://amzn.to/Lk280v
To buy in the US visit http://amzn.to/NpUiAZ
Sunday 8th July 2012 10:16 am
The Wrong Sort of Train
Four days after I wrote this, the following article appeared in the Daily Telegraph:-‘A train company blamed “the wrong sort of passenger” for the problems some had in reaching London for the celebrations.’
The Wrong Sort of Train
We’re sorry the trains are not running you know
Tomorrow we hope they’ll be fine
But nature has dealt us a sad autumn blow
There...
Monday 18th June 2012 3:25 pm
Save £2 on my book - 'Your Sax Is On Fire'
My book - 'Your Sax Is On Fire' is now an incredible £3.99 when you type SAFIRE into the discount code box on
Thursday 26th April 2012 1:14 pm
My Only Love
I feel so bad without you,
All my dreams are about you.
I lie in bed, thinking of only you.
You are my dearest and nearest,
The only one and sweetest.
Out of all you are the greatest.
You are so delicate and good
You quickly change my mood.
Your love I prefer to any food.
I love you so much, my darling.
You always look so charming,
...Sunday 1st April 2012 12:11 pm
From the Dating Site
I am tall one when on the hills.
Kind one if he my life fulfils.
Would like some battles with him .,,, but…
Only in case if he doesn't destroy my skills.
©Larisa Rzhepishevska (Odessa, Ukraine)
The 13th of February, 2012
Monday 13th February 2012 6:01 pm
Rzhepicks
I am smarter than all but it’s not noticeable. Want someone who wants me. Hippopotamus – there are so many nice sounds. Under the coat was a goat. It was sunny and funny in bed with my dearest lad. Control shot has changed a lot. A sad glance. Are you my last chance? The dream was such a charm! But the noise of the alarm…! Feet prevented...
Sunday 15th January 2012 8:49 am
Depth Of A Salesman
I did it babe – I’m the new recruit!
The posh bird in the pin-striped suit
Shook my hand and told me straight
That I was the perfect candidate.
She swallowed all the usual lies
And failed to see through my disguise.
I love the confidence I can win
With a false CV and a cheeky grin.
I did it babe – I got the sale!
I went and spun this guy a tale
Of w...
Friday 13th January 2012 12:45 am
How Not To Receive A Compliment
Why on Earth would you think
I’d find one of the world’s biggest killers
funny?
You’ve known me for years, you heartless cow.
We shared the same drab town
sterilised bottles
degenerate parents.
I looked after you when you were sick
Scraping back hair, sponging brow
Forcing vile vials of fizzy liquids down your protesting throat.
I’ve run Marathons, raised...
Monday 9th January 2012 10:56 pm
All things considered
It’s easy to become that which you preach
If you practice enough to believe it.
When wealth became your new religion
I longed for the time a lesser God
materially affected you. Like Michael Foot
at least Jesus was a socialist.
Wednesday 4th January 2012 4:25 pm
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