I tell you

I'll love you no matter what.

I don't care what they think, 

fuck their approval. 

And yet I find myself, 

crawling back.

Plagued with naive hope,

self-loathing weakness. 

A bird plucking its own feathers

one by one. 

Until all that's left

is an ugly mangled mass, 

defeated by its own destruction. 

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I know I’m frustrated.

I know I’m angry.

I don’t know why.

I know what to do

To try to quell it,

But for one reason

I don’t want to let it go.

I surround myself with

Loud noises and angry voices

Ride a wave of my own

Feather spitting.

And still I don’t know why,

I just am.

A vigorous scribble scratched

Inside my skull,

No end to pull at.

Ju...

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I can feel it crawl inside me creeping slowly

Those negative thoughts that want to control me

In and around my mind they flow

And in an instant everything explodes

This black cloud befuddles my mind

Then it takes over and I am confined

To feel worthless, idiotic and desperate as can be

To these destructive emotions and I want to be free

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