My theory is as good as yours,

I am entitled to my facts.

We both have our opinions

But it's me that the truth attracts.

I saw it on the internet;

It’s as valid as your learning.

It says the world is flat and square,

Not round and daily turning.

And don’t expect me to believe

All this talk of global heating;

The weather’s always on the change:

Someone sai...

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We laugh at experts and suck up to fools,

Effortless amateurs from public schools,

And love the chancers who sidestep the rules.

That’s how we are right now, that’s how we are.

We laugh at research and usher away

Facts and achievements on public display;

We’d rather go down on our knees and pray.

That’s how we are right now, that’s how we are.

We laugh at the trut...

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Facts are very boring; this much is true.

It’s hard to face them by the light of day;

Much easier to make the truth become

What you or someone else would like to say.

You will deny you dropped that bomb or shell;

You say the other side attacked its own.

You muddy waters, sow some seeds of doubt.

And cast the bleeding obvious as unknown.

You say you’re sceptical of...

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Heatwaves radiating across the country,

common occurrences every summer

now occurring every season.

Summer stretches long into Fall,

makes a cameo during Winter

And begins earlier every Spring.

It’s a heatwave, they say.

No, it’s global warming.

No, it’s now called climate change, haven’t you heard?

No, that’s all fake news.

It’s only a heatwave, you see.

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We watched fake news race

From that perma-tanned face

Those Harpic locks pre-fabricated and bleached

He wants vaccination by Domestos

No wonder he got impeached

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Chinese Whispers

We thought we’d done everything right

Y’know

Taken precautions to self-isolate

Avoiding those risky types

Who would pass it on

Making sure we didn’t

Y’know

Pass anything on ourselves

Fourteen days later

We thought

Y’know

We’re probably safe now

Safe to come out

Safe to mix with friends and family

Once again

But no

We’d b...

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Screaming Blue Murder

I’m screaming Blue Murder

at the state of the nation

and how we blame our ills

on Muslims and immigration -

talking about people

as though they’re an infestation.

I’m screaming Blue Murder.

I’m screaming Blue Murder

at the Banker’s greed

and the people on the street

who we can’t seem to feed -

the way that we trample

on sexuali...

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Red Herrings

From Dealey Plaza to Salisbury

and all points in between,

the Bear has been the symbol

for the west to vent its spleen.

“There’s reds under the bed”

often heard, but rarely seen,

while a pumpkin president

conducts his grizzly Halloween.

From Novichok to Lee Harvey

the red herrings abound,

drifting through our freedoms

but hardly ever found...

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This Is The News

You know that there are statistics

waiting to be displayed

when a BBC reporter

stands to the left of a brick wall -

and when the report’s about finance

and they’re stood out in the rain,

you know they’re going to make a pun

about saving for a rainy day.

When did the news become a vehicle

for cheap shots and sound-bites?

Where young report...

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