I’d take a knife and cut it out

like some deep-down infected gout

if only it were there under my skin.

I’d prick a vein and let it bleed,

free flowing, nothing to impede

if I thought it were streaming deep within.

I’d amputate it bit by bit

til there was nothing left of it,

then throw it piece by piece into the grind.

I’d heat a rod to glowing red,

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Curled up in the corner

in dead of the night.

Afraid of darkness

and praying for light.

Eyes peer from the ceiling.

Hands reach from the floor.

Hearts beat from the walls

and he stands at the door.

No chemical shields me.

No masquerade hides.

The sweat of my body,

the fear in my eyes.

He’s pounding and pounding

and growing in strength.

He’s ...

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Momentary peace is a thing,
Lifetime of peace who has ever gotten?
And there exist people who haven't witnessed a single spring,
The fruits they've reaped off life are all rotten.

Time lingers on, it takes small sluggish steps,
While the war seems to last for an eternity.
And though the mind's tired and body's started to sweat,
There seems no concrete vision, no certainty.

Innumerable ...

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I sat before him 

Crumpling in onto myself     

Lost in my head   

Wishing I was dead

It's over now

Why are we still here                         

He got what he wanted                     

Why does he sit there and stare       

My body limp                                     

Folding over in submission               

My head on his knee                        

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If you could compare my soul to anything in nature

I’d say it‘s like a thunderstorm

people have mixed feelings about it

there are positive and negative feelings involved

some fear it for its destructive potential

some admire the lightning show

tension holds it together

that it’s trying to release

an inner state of unease

it’s contrary in all of its parts

the heat...

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The darkness falls under my skin,
I hate my life and my soul within',
I'm trapped in my mind and I'm full of sin,
I'm fighting the devil and I cannot win,
Complacent thoughts are spinning around,
I hear His voice but there is no sound,
He showed me the way, the truth and the life,
The battle is won, I won the fight,
Come on devil your talk is cheap,
I've played my cards so read 'em and we...

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