attacking my integrity

questioning… me

myself,

I, was taught there was no such thing as a stupid question

second guessing…

why?

you were impolite.

looking for answers in an inner view

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Late sleep has been deprived,

Most nights are spent on trying to decide what to do next,

What is best for me or worst, planning moves.

Going through a list of movies, I'm barely interested in.

Look at the ceiling try to look in my heart, 

And find what I concealed away,

and try to find something to feel about.

And think about my doubts.

Am I alive or just living? I don't kn...

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Life is growing lonelier every day that passes

I’m just a slave to my fateful soul and it’s inevitable searches.

Spiralling on deeper down and forever tumbling aimlessly around. I can’t seem to put both these feet of mine on the forbidden ground.

If only my thoughts and my life could be safely contained once found. I would then progress and could grow to that magical higher...

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We were young 19 and 22
 just me and you 
we went into this blindly 
everything we've gone through wasn't supposed to be taken lightly
 three months in
 and we found out we're having a kid
 we bickered and we fought
 that's how relationships were at least so I thought 
4 months I was afraid
 but for eight years you've stayed
 but not without a glitch 
you f*** that b**** 
I had poured ...

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I don’t like answering a lot of questions.

Like when I go to Starbucks and order a
flat white, and the cashier asks what size
I want, and I say there is only one size of
flat white, pointing at the menu, but the
cashier says, no sir, you can have whatever
size you want, and I say, yes, but any other
size is not a flat white, is it? It’s just some
milk with coffee in it, and the barista i...

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What is the scale of reality?

We all have our own truths

Our own views

How do you quantify actuality?

“A fantasy is a vision

It is solely in your vision

It is envisioned by you

A vision is a fantasy”

But saints had visions!

Politicians have visions!

Some people have double vision

Anyone that has sight has vision

Whether they have a sixth sense

Or no...

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and I wonder if there's someone else that you wish was giving you the attention that I am

and I wonder if you are giving someone else the attention that I wish you would give me

and I wonder why this imbalance follows me

chases me

always always nipping at my heels

and yet somehow manages to also remain

two steps ahead of me

this imbalance of desire

of devotion

of depende...

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No Answer

Either .. or, Neither .. nor. 

Your answer, is one of four 

Always "NO" or "I don't know" 

But in general "I'm not sure" 

Keeping silent is an answer 

Complicates the issues more 

Gaps grow in hearts faster 

To close mainly our main door 

Hiding always simple things 

That I'm really pleased to know 

Same as birds lost the wings 

How to f...

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There is a room where these people go, 

All share something in common, 

They sit there, pondering, 

'Why is this happening to me?' 

They could spend hours, days, weeks, months or even years in this room, 

These people are not together, 

In fact they are all alone, 

What do they have in common? 

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If I went to a professional they'd probably say it started when I was younger
Which begs the question why it didn't affect my older brother

Maybe it's just the way my brain is wired
I'm just so god damn sick and tired
Of being so damn sick and tired
Why am I always so fucking tired?

I just go through the motions
All the days just blend together
The only thing keeping me going
Is the h...

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We used to be unbeatable.

Unbreakable

Unbearable.

Now we're unofficial.

You were unreliable.

Unsatisfiable.

Unstable.

But so was I.

So now what?

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As the sun peeps out

over misty morning hills

and the dawn chorus calls

with its piercing shrill,

the demons of the night

skulk slowly away,

a sidelong glance

at the few who got away.

He rises and stretches

and with sleepy eyes,

breathes a sigh of relief

and a laughing surprise.

The nightmare lingers

in his foggy mind

until a final shiver

leaves th...

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Is it a fool who waits for which he knows will never come, Searching for a pinhole of light in the darkness that has become, Turning off lamps dumbfounded by what he has done, Is my fate the same as this man I see in plain view, Though I try to evade, Everytime I look into the mirror, He stares back at me too.

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TIMES BROKEN ARROW

And the world keeps rocking to the sound of the void
Spinning through time, a pirouette we can't avoid
And what have you done today
Did the fool on his errand slip by
Did you have much to say
As his time in your life seemed to fly

And the world keeps spinning into uncertain futures
The wounds in it's crust needing serious sutures
And what have you done today
Was th...

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A why is

A why is more than lines that converge or divide,

Going from wide to narrow or from narrow to wide,

At an obtuse angle I have found to be,

More than a mitre’s mere 45 degrees.

A why is more than just A letter.

If U can’t C that you must B blind.

More than two letters blended like a V squashed on top of an l.

In fact, a why has to be mor...

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