Good Morning Britain!

An Islamophobic prick

Talking Testicles.

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This is the first stanza of a sonnet from my collection "Total Testicles" now available from Gutter Publishing; all proceeds from the sale thereof will be donated to my favourite charity, The Budgie Smugglers Foundation.

Dit dah, dit dah, dah dit dit lah di dah ?

Di dum, di dum, a rumpy pumpy pum,

Dah diddly dee, di dum doh ray mi fah;

Tarah rah boom de ay, reet lot o’ fun!

Uilleam ...

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Part-time embalming is joyful

Not enough to get you down

Leaves time to appreciate life

Freed from that bloody gown

Embalming can bring surprises

Cadavers turn up you once knew

This happened to young Dahlia

Its a sadistic geezer she'd blew

Chopped up in some car crash

His wife wanted a restful look

Freed from the visible causes

Her nerves would not brook

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