Like poison ivy creeping through my brain
Strangling emotions, my words are maimed 
Shutting me down and keeping me in
Making me feel that the true me is a sin
Holding me back and won't let me out
Wanting to scream, wanting to shout
I will find a way to let the world see
I'm going to break free, I want to be me
So poison ivy your not in control 
I'll keep on fighting until my life feels w...

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Inside the mind
Like the deep blue sea
A bottomless ocean 
Where thoughts run free 
Thinking of a guys
But it feels so wrong
A feeling of guilt 
The thoughts are too strong 
A hidden secret
A self inflicted lie
Not true to oneself 
But don't know why
A locked treasure chest
Waiting to be found
A mouthful of words
But the lips are bound 
Sifting through sand
In the hope of a find
...

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Just leave me alone and let me find peace
I don't want to hurt
I don't want to weep
Who’s are the voices inside my head?
Why do they hate me? 
What have I said?
Why let them get to me?
What do I say?
Why can’t I make them all just go away?
Why do I feel I have to paint on a smile?
Why can’t I just be ‘me’ for a while?
These are the questions I’m asking each day
The voices, the demons I...

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Chains of Capture

Deepest darkest nightmares
But only if you knew
The lengths that I have taken
To hide away the truth
The scars are slowly fading
But the pain runs deep inside
Some say that I'm outspoken
But they don’t see the things I hide
The questions left unanswered
Constantly running through my head
The ‘what if’s’ again resurfaced
That I’d thought I’d put to bed
My demons is ...

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Charade

Is my confusion an illusion
Is my mind just playing games
All the demons and the monsters
Quick enough to lay the blame
Many questions left unanswered
And many answers make no sense
My only coping mechanism
Is self destruction or self defense
On the outside I may look happy
But I’m crumbling inside
All the feelings and emotions
Just so much easier to hide
If the lock could b...

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Thunderstorms
Running through my head
Rumbles getting louder
Scared things might be said
Hide away in a closet
Because the sound is so loud
Hide from the truth
Because the truths not allowed
Thunderbolts they are striking
Flashbacks of a lad
A childhood in silence
Adolescence was sad
But storms they get stronger
They gain strength with time
The rain is now pouring
I’ve a hurricane m...

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I don't want to hurt no more
I don’t want to cry
Don’t want to curse no more
Don't want to live this lie
Inside I feel I’m dying
The pain it hurts so bad
I feel I’m losing control
Every day I feel so sad
I’ve felt this way for a lifetime
Thought I’d mastered how to cope
But the pressures getting heavy
Feel I’m living with false hope
Thought talking would help to free me
But I feel I’v...

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Lost boy, find your way home
Reach out your arms
You’re no longer alone
Lost boy, please don’t be scared
There’s a safe place waiting 
You just need to get there

People may judge you
And that is OK
If they have a problem
We can keep them at bay
Thoughts and feelings are normal
Its everyday life
The future is yours
So keep that in sight

Lost boy, why are you afraid
It’s not your ...

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As a child
Friends knocked the door
Eagerly excited
You were waiting for
To hear the question 
As it left their mouth
Asking your parents 
If you were coming out

As a child 
We’d run around
No care in the world
And acting the clown
Getting dirty
And playing in mud
Making as many adventures
As we possibly could

As a child
I was building a wall
To keep me safe
And ca...

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At school as a teen

I was sitting in class

With all my friends

When the teacher asked

I’ve a question for you all

In this form group today

What would you do

If a friend told you they were gay

“I’d beat them and punch them”

The one friend said

“I’d kick them, and hurt them until they were dead”

The whole class cheered and seemed to agree

And that was the start of...

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Like a scared child in the shadows
Lurking to find what’s right
Strange feelings overtake me
And my chest is feeling tight
Why does it feel abnormal
Why does it seem so strange
I don't have one attraction
I have multiple in my range
Why does it sound so dirty
In an homophobic head
Why do I feel so troubled
By what others might have said
Is it them who have the problem
Or am I running ...

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Demons are coming
Engrossed with my brain
Their taking control
Am I going insane
They try to take over
The thoughts in my head
But I won’t let them get me
I’ll get them instead

Fighting with demons
Keep those demon’s at bay
Caged in a corner
Keep those demons away

When panic takes over
Those demons are close
They’re reaching and beating
They fill me with doubt
But stood in the ...

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Inside I’m breaking, I’m aching, in falling apart
The mess in my head is a real work of art
I’d unravel this mess but where would I start
Picked away at the seams bit by bit, part by part

The confusions, delusions
I just think what I have
But then thinking and sinking
I start to feel sad
Then with sadness there’s madness
And then I feel bad
These confusions, delusions are driving me ma...

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Do they really need to know
Does it matter, does it show
Does it make them like me less
Can they see inside my head
Do they really need to know

Do they really need to know
Put on a front and fake a smile
Things seem ok for a while
Until the shadows creep back in
And the demons start to win
Do they really need to know

Do they really need to know
Everything looks fine outside
But I’...

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Rescue ‘forever’
The fight of my life
Saving a marriage
But hurting a wife
Twisted confessions
It feels like a dream
Entering territory
I should never have been
Keeping a secret
Locked up deep inside
Now nowhere to run and nowhere to hide
I should of kept quite, not swallowed my pride
But how could I live
With the secrets and lies
Emotionally scared
A heart that is bruised
Feelings...

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