Sex, Alcohol and Sugar

I seem to spend my life

In giving up of things

Things I like, look forward to

Ring-a-ding-a-ding

I'm told such things are bad for me

That I should wave goodbye

To smoking, sugar, alcohol

Give up, lie back, and sigh

Funny? but there's just one thing

I don't give up (one thing)

That's sex, it just gives up on me

Ring-a-di...

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Humour Don't Sell Papers

I've just read today's paper

It's full of doom and gloom

Murders, killing, destruction, death

Children being groomed

Headlines blare out constantly

SEX FIEND IS EXPOSED

There's so much negativity

(The paper I have closed)

Why can't I read, enjoy myself?

With lots of humour, rife

Instead of being subjected to

This gutter si...

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John Travolta Comes to Town

John Travolta has just been to our town

Multimillionaire, Scientologist, movie star

He loves it and wants to come back here

Travel round in his limousine car

An autograph? Yes, but will cost you

Dollars 200 (quick scrawl)

It took him just only few seconds

You look what you got. Is that all?

You want to be photographed with John ...

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America has finally woken up to

A problem, a problem it's got

Their virus corona just can't be

Got rid of by just being shot


Don Matthews
August 2020

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Sylvain Dornon the Stilt-Walking Baker. Well I'll Be....

In 1891 five-eight

Days, Silvain Dornon

Paris/Moscow walked on stilts

You're kidding me, come on?....

I kid you not....

Don Matthews

August 2020

http://www.illustratedpast.com/people/Stilt-Walkers/sylvain-dornon.html

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I Want Election Results Now. Tonight

As President of USA

I want, demand to see

Results on night of election

When people vote for me

You tried election date to change

Despite law saying nay

Which also says we're not required to

Give results same day

Trump you are an idiot

Of the first degree

The sooner that you move away

The happier we'll be

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My Internet Lamp Purchase

I just bought this lamp on the internet

The firm sounded good (great website)

The reviews they were good (plenty of them)

So thought I gotta have one, too right

I gave them my online bank details

(Hundred bucks) which did seem a bit rich

But the site got good writeups, seemed reputable

So I thought looks OK, be no hitch

You'r...

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I am an age-old newbie

I write amusement, fun

Don't dare come near me doom and gloom

You getting cranky hun?

What?

Don Matthews

July 2020

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The Flat Earth Club's Lucky Dip

Join our famous Flat Earth Club

And enter Lucky Dip

Your chance to dip in box and win

A Round-the-World Cruise Trip

Don Matthews

July 2020

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I Am a Little Gusher

I am a little gusher

Gusher with a G

Gushing here and gushing there

In my poetry

I am a monster stomper

Stomper with an S

I like to stomp on little gushers

STOMP....there's now one less

I am a writer/satirist

Writing things to share it

Behaviours will attract my pen

If your cap fits then wear it

Don Matthews

Jul...

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These days I don't contribute much

On WOL why's that? Becos

I've bought a house in FCS

Signed me, down here in Aus

Wot's FCS?....

For C Sake ?...

Dunno...

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Look at the popular tag list

Tags in the last 30 days

Death,sad, pain, abuse and depression

Has humour taken leave, gone away?

Don Matthews

July 2020

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Whatever will whatever will

Whatever will will be

But I am gonna, yep, survive

Even if it kills me

 

Survivor Don
July 2020

 

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I promise to behave myself

Now I've come back to roost

I'll hold my pen accountable

I will not let it loose

We don't believe you....

Oh ye of WOL of little faith

I am a new-born man

Had all my mischief cleansed (now gone)

No more I mischief can

How boring....

What?....

Don Matthews

July 2020

(As promised)  A Poet Don Report ...

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                                                                      Poet Don

After much in-depth discussion, we, the Management of Flippant, Comic, and Serious (FCS) have made the un-heard of decision of loaning our chief news reporter Poet Don to WOL (Write Out Loud).

WOL is the home of Poet Don's maker (we understand his maker still has his room there for occasional visits)

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One Platform Two Uses

A poetry site can be used

As a platform to encourage

Comment and discussion

Or to inflate the ego

Don Matthews

July 2020

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Denim Venom

Wherefore is thy sting madame?

Wherefore is thy venom?

I see you're wearing dearest brand?

Dearest brand of denim?

High class bitch....

Don Matthews

July 2020

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Where have you gone to Poet Don

Built base on 'nother planet

Where Thale and I can frolic free

With no-one round to ban it

www.donmatthewspoetry.com

No disrespect to WOL Thought Police.  They do a good job keeping all the WOL larrikins in order.

Promotion of competition websites on WOL is not allowed Don.

No?  Sorry....

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Prayer and God Will Protect Me From Corona

Trump calls for churches to open – regardless.

“In America we need more prayer, not less”

Must go to my church coming Sunday

Mix close with the people and pray

To God who'll protect me and save me

And keep corona virus away

Attending my church is more important

More important than staying at home

My God will...

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Hey Don?...

I specialize in rhyme

A great waste of my time

Hey Don? could make you famous

And earn you lots of dosh….


Oh?


I specialize in rhyme

A great use of my time

I’m gonna earn me lots of dosh

And become a Poet Laureate….


Poet Laureates don’t make any money Don…

Oh?


I specialize in rhyme

A great use of my time

I’ll use it on my website

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How 'Bout Dat

Our streets, now all abandoned

Have found a home for rats

Not one or two, but gangs of them

Well I'll be how 'bout dat

Fret not you unemployed ones

We need more catcher-rats

To rid us of these furry fiends

Well I'll be how 'bout dat

Last week it was a kangaroo

Who jumped through CBD

Much cuter than a gang of rats

How 'bout dat, well ...

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I am a kiddie writer

Writing how to learn

Extraction from the brown earth

Without hurting worm

eg pulling off head....

I also write for kiddies

What can do and can't

Always keep eyes peeled down

Don't step on nice ant

Horrid....

I've yet to find a publisher

Cause kiddies don't want me

Pulling heads and squashing ants

Is what they like...

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Trump. What Virus?

Donald wants restrictions gone, lifted, right now

Health advisers say Donald no way

Don't care about people, new cases, more deaths

Let's open up ol' USA

“I promise to make America great again”...

And I want to be re-elected.....

Don Matthews May 2020

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It's Your Fault Neurons

I’ve built myself a website

A steep and bloody curve

Received my Learners Permit

The blogosphere to serve

www.donmatthewspoetry.com got there phew!


I don’t know who is out there

I don’t know who I’ll meet

Excite-like feeling venture

I hope can stay on feet


Much of my work is different

(To the normal stuff)

Spilling out f...

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Impaired Driver

A trooper stopped a driver in Utah

Moving slowly and moving around

Who pulled over slowly and neatly

Shock horror “What's this that I've found?”

Conversation between trooper and driver

Was captured on video (dash cam)

And youtubed 'round world to the thousands

Click link here and view while you can

https://youtu.be/PHSGKilCcoQ

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Missed Warnings

USA missed warnings

A 100,000 dead

Administration, President

Caught fast asleep in bed

“We promise to make USA great again”

Australia heeded warnings

Less than a 100 dead

Promptly ordered lockdown

Australia used its head

Don Matthews May 2020

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Anxious

Sometimes I feel quite anxious

Posting what I write

Is it bit too risky?

Will somebody bite?

What's the purpose poet

Of writing poetry

If you're scared of readers

Reactions they might be?

Don Matthews May 2020

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That's the Way

Some of us like rhyme

Some of us like prose

Guess we all are different

That's the way it goes

Don Matthews May 2020

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Why Bother

Why bother writing poems

That few press button 'like'

Forget about few comments

Might take off, ride my bike....

...Into the great red sunset

Hang up my WOLer quill

Go pull up weeds in garden

From plants who love me still

Hey?...

What?...

Set up your own website....

???

getyalaughshere.don

Food for th...

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Said the Lion to the Pig

I love this covid virus

It's locked the humans in

Clean air we can now breathe in deep

Clean air we can take in

Roarrrr!..... Oink......

My roar does not now get choked

With soot and dust and more

Thrown up by all their motor cars

We love corona...Roarrrrr!

Oink...

Our playground's much more healthy now

Lot's mor...

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She Screamed for Help but you did Nothing

(Kim Murphy, an Adelaide mother of three, was murdered by her ex-partner in a domestic violence incident (April 2020). Her screams for help were ignored. A sad reflection of today's society)

You heard her scream for help

But no-one ever came

You heard her screams of anguish

Her life's now ended, slain

Why did you not invest...

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My Tin Money Box 1950's

I remember quite fondly my money box

Just starting my life out at school

Tin, no way in I could borrow

Thrift acquired young was the rule

My passbook (from bank) it recorded

The money I'd saved in my tin

Collected each week by the teller

Riding his bike all way in (Friday if I remember...)

There he would bring out his can opene...

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The Judge's Decision

(An Adelaide judge has just made a decision based on the following reasons.  Community is not happy)

You are a serial sex offender

But your risk to the community

Has not increased in the time

You have been in custody

I am therefore releasing you

Am I missing something?....

Don Matthews April 2020

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I've Got a Problem

There's too much going on

My little head just can't cope

If it were bigger it might just manage

Either God didn't make it big enough

Or we've made too much for it

Bad planning I say

See my problem?

Don Matthews May 2020

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Missing Look. Missing Smile

(During lockdown I need to buy my paper each day.  I thought she might have just been having a bad day.  But no, the same thing happened this morning,. Why do some do and some don't?....)

Just been to buy my paper

Handed her the cost

She scanned my just-bought paper

While I stood there quite lost...

...Waiting for eye contact

Waiting ...

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WTF?

I used to play at games all day

With me young mate Gad

Now been told to give it up

Play cards with mum and dad

Card games? shit, how boring

Card games, shit, they suck

Wanna go and play with Gad

Card games? WTF?

Don Matthews April 2020

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I'm a Celebrity. I'm Self-Isolating in my Mansion. Watch Me on Instagram

I'm Dave Geffen celebrity

Isolating on my yacht

In pristine waters Grenadines

Easy? Shit, it's not

Yacht's 600 million

Can't party with my friends

On board we have all luxuries

When will my pain stop, end?

I'm also a celebrity

“We're all in this together”

Concerned I am abo...

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“Irresponsible and Dangerous Mr Trump” (Dr Gupta, Global Health Policy Expert)

My scientists have told me some info

That chemicals kill Covid quick smart

Chemicals like bleach and rub alcohol

Ideas this has given me, let's start

Since bleach disinfectant kills Covid

This virus which many infect

Let's get bleach direct into body

Just grab a syringe and inject

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Whacky

This lockdown's sent me whacky

Whacky reigns supreme

Three cheers for whacky, one, two, three

Whacky on your screen

But whacky does have advantages:

Whacky relieves pressure

Whacky reigns supreme

Three cheers for whacky, one, two, three

Whacky on your screen

'ray 'ray 'ray

Don Matthews April 2020

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My Neurons They Are Groaning

My neurons they are groaning

Under all my rhyme

Why are you always whipping us

Whipping us big time?

You should be grateful neurons

With all your dose of whip

If not you'll get slack, lazy and

My poetry will slip

Gosh!, can't let that happen...

Quick, whip us some more....

Don Matthews April 2020

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My Rhymatic Friend

I do like doing things different

In my own unconventional way

Inventing new words, absurd and unheard

And looking for new ones to say

Yes I do like doing things different

Unconventionally day after day

I like me like that, so's the cat and his hat

We don't care what others may say

Doctor Suess had it right when he said

To conventional...

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No “Oans, Zwoa, G'suffa”

No bottoms up in Bavaria

No bottoms up this year

Corona's upset the applecart

No schmear, no cheer, no beer

Don Matthews April 2020

https://youtu.be/VZHcc9bF2jc

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Wonky

My eyes are seeing double

Double on the screen

Everything I seem to post

Has a double mean

Took myself to optom who

Deals with wonky eyes

To me, “please cover left, then right”

I asked him wonky? Why?

You're old he said, get muscle droop

Won't do what brain tells to

We fix you up, no problem Don

Choogaloogaloo

(Choog,. Nothing to do ...

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Happy Little Covid Family

I am a little Covid

But not Covid 19

I only have four knobs on me

(Long way 'til I'm a teen)

My dad is Covid 19

My mum Covid two-three

23 take 19

Explains their name for me

Covid 4...

Scientists are bit puzzled

About my mum and me

Despite a Covid family

We leave you symptom free

We have them racing (franti...

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Should Have Tied Skip Up Last Night. Just Plain Forgot

Skip is my pet kangaroo

I tie up at home overnight

It seems that he wanted to go try his luck

In finding a lady, last night

G'day.....

The police they were good, they did track him

“A suspect in a grey furry coat”

Unfortunately they lost him in the parklands

The second line above is their quote

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Should Have Tied Skip Up Last Night. Just Pain Forgot

Skip is my pet kangaroo

I tie up at home overnight

It seems that he wanted to go try his luck

In finding a lady last night

G'day.....

The police they were good, they did track him

“A suspect in a grey furry coat”

Unfortunately they lost him in the parklands

The second line above is their quote

D...

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Coronavirus Psychosis and Belarus

I am President Lukashenko of Belarus

I rule with an iron fist

My people love me

All this fuss about a virus is just ridiculous

“Coronavirus psychosis” has taken over

Our factories are open

Our kindergartens are open

Our restaurants and universities are open

Our football league

With spectators, still play

Th...

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I'm scripting LMS's

Next ride in the Park

Hear the Rollercoaster coming?

Hear it coming? Hark?

No...

No?...

No.  Can't hear anything....

Bother..forgot the audio...

Don't worry. Join me up.  I'll listen in virtual life....

Lucy?....A new member...

Nice one Don....

Head of Publicity....

Nice to meet you Miss...

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Scroll

If my poem don't appeal

Don't send your mind agog

I don't mind if you do decide

To scroll down to next blog

D. Matthews (Learning Poet)  April 2020

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Tick Tock Tick Tock

I have an over-active

An over-active mind

I wish it would go stop itself

Go stop and just unwind

Tick Tock Tick Tock

Unwind to where it started

Adjust it's tick and tock

Back to where I want it

Want my neural clock

Tick Tock Tick Tock

To me this isn't normal

A normal thinking mind

One who thinks his mind is like

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