SMILE CVN'T ! WHY CVN'T ?

(This piece was inspired by eccentric Sydney 75yr-old sandwich-board wearer Danny Lim who was arrested, handcuffed and fined $500 for displaying a sign “SMILE CVN'T ! WHY CVN'T ?” after a single phone complaint. He appeared in court with his chihuahua-pomeranian Smarty. The magistrate was highly critical of the arresting officers and said the law was concerned wi...

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Parental Failure

But I like wearing dresses mummy?

You can't dear

Why mummy?

You're a boy

???

But I like wearing boys clothes mummy?

You can't sweetie

Why mummy?

You're a girl

???

20 years later

I like dressing as a woman mum

(I've failed as a parent)

I like dressing as a man mum

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Haiku Homework (grade 1)

Got haiku fever

WOLer craze firing me up

Searching for deep thoughts

Must be 5-7-5

Learnt at College of Haiku

Not complete dumbo

Told my next step is

Present words of deep wisdom

Mat sat under cat

Despite passing bottom of class

you show budding promise.

(Principal - College of Haiku)

Don Matthews June 2019

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Look At Me Damn You

I'm screaming, shouting, look at me

It's you I'm talking to

Not talking to the bloody wall

It's you I'm talking to

I'm screaming, shouting, look at me

Demand connect with you

Don't need connection with a wall

I want connect with you

I'm screaming, shouting, look at me

Do you not understand?

Importance of our eye contact?

Your l...

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My Muse is Getting Fussy

Thalia: My Muse of Mirth

I'm sitting in Hillbillys

Wondering what to write

I need ideas sweet Thalia

My page is blank, all white

When I did ID her

Thalia (now with name)

Insisted Muse be capitalised

(Can you, or I, she blame?)

Would low-case 'poet' please me?

No way, 'Poet' I am

Don't put me in your faceless crowd

...

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Tear Up

Why do I tear up

Just at a thought

They say I'm bipolar

I'm trapped, seems I'm caught

Emotions in 'normals'

Swing up and swing down

But mine can hit ceilings

Or crash to the ground

Compared on a 10 scale

'Normals' are 4

But mine can reach 10

(yes, that's six times more)

So why do I tear up

Just at a thought?

'Cause I'm then a...

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A Toilet for Daisy

Preamble

We recently had the privilege of hearing long-standing WOLer and bovine expert Mr John Coopey share with us his knowledge on how to DIY artificially inseminate our pet bulls. Thankyou for sharing this knowledge with us Mr Coopey. We enjoy a bit of bull every now and again.

Inspired by this I sent my Muse to trawl our cowsheds for inspiration. I specifically tol...

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Party Tricks in Bali

Preamble

Scene: South Australian Nicholas Carr, 26, holidaying Bali, August 2019

I was really drunk you see

Therefore no recall

Just landed in a top-shelf pickle

While having me a ball

What's that you say? I karate-kicked

A guy off motorbike?

Nah, I don't remember this

(Just doin' what I like)

What's that you say? next ...

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Poets Should Have Standards
 

I won't stoop to the gutter

And wallow in the muck

I'll only use the eff word

In quotes from those still stuck

I don't like seeing poets

Engaged in gutter trawl

Looking for some cheap thrills

For readers to enthral

Poets should have standards

An Ethics type of Code

And not trawl in the gutter

And thus this Code erode

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Why My Monty Python Audition Was Unsuccessful

Preamble

You will notice I am not in the pic. This is the final elected MP Team (minus me) as I was deemed 'medically unfit' to qualify.  The audition pic (in which I featured prominently) got binned. Not even a signed memento to show my fans back home, and proof of my audition attempt. Bloody Poms. The bugger Clease (also absent from pic) w...

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BIPOLAR FRAGMENTS

The Art of Poetry

I've been told by many

The art of poetry's dead

I believe it's alive on

Pages they haven't read

(stanley victor paskavich, bipolar, writer)

Please Dear Reader

Please dear reader read this page

It's one you haven't read

And tell me if my poetry's

Alive or is it dead?

(don matthews, bipolar, writer)

Soldier Fre...

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PLAYFUL SHOELACE HA HA HA

I have a little shoelace

The other end of me

It's got a mind all of its own

But that's just how it be

I tie it up each morning

As tight as tight can be

But then it grabs the jolly knot

And pulls the whole thing free

I hear it laughing ha ha ha

Come tie me up again

I curse and swear beneath my breath

Count silently to ten

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THE LAWS OF WAR

The Laws of War

Protect us all

Don't even think

To overhaul

Killer drones

Have just arrived

Must be programmed

Humanized

Robot warfare

No human control?

Guaranteed

Ghastly toll

Geneva Convention?

Critical as ever

Space warfare?

Don't human sever

Postscript

The Geneva Conventions are rules that ...

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HIP HOORAY

He is on medications

He's taken his today

Purple, white (no pink ones yet)

Let's all sing hip hooray

Meds will cap his silly

(At least just for today)

He's told me not to write deep twat

Let's all sing hip hooray

He's told me to write serious stuff

Not use his silly style

Cos silly is his copyright

(He's in rehab-exile)

Why does...

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The Americanisation of Australia

It's not that I'm anti-American

But there's something I just do not like

It's this Americanisation of my country

My daily Australian life that I like

The use of this 's' or a 'z'

Confuses me (no, frustrates me more)

Australian English says to use 's's

While American 'z's are appearing more and more

Let's look at this closel...

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Bipolar Mania's Two-Edged Sword

Preamble

I am a diagnosed manic kept under control with medications. This explains my personality. And much of my work.

Bipolar mania's a two-edged sword

With razor sharpened edges

If not controlled and managed well

You risk precarious ledges.

One edge is sharp and dangerous

Results can be perverse

Rational thought...

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Dedication to the Rose of WOL

INTRO uno

Your colour's so reddish

Your perfume's discreet

I trample your petals

To sweeten my feet

INTRO due

Hey there Rose

Don't get me wrong

Not here to write

You sweet song

Hey there Don

I am so sad

Cos I ain't caused

You any bad

MAIN ACT (serious-mode)

Has Blight bit you?

With '...

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Poet's Blight

I've got a stack of poems

Waiting to send, arrive

Been struck down with dread Poet's Blight

Don't know if I'll survive

Not heard of Poet's Blight before?

No WOLer's told it's curse?

Am I the only WOLer here

Writing Blighter verse?

This Blight it overloads you

Drowns your life in verse

Leaves no time for playtime

Damn! It's getting wo...

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Manson – The Smell of Evil

Preamble

I have written this to present and revisit the facts

Source: Manson Exposed. A Reporter's 50yr Journey Into Madness and Murder (Ivor Davis)

50 years ago today

Manson was arrested

Sharon Tate was murdered and

The world reeled back in shock.....

Manson trained his Family

Of lost-like hippie waifs

To be his Manson k...

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McMansions

They're building lots of houses

On a house estate

Two-story grey McMansions

Houses which I hate

Pretentious and all bland-like

Standing tall and proud

Built so close together

Not bothered that they crowd

Cement-rendered all grey-like

No texture to their face

Character? they have none

No metal-interest lace

But hey poet, we're bu...

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It's Sunday in the UK

It's Sunday in the UK

USA as well?

Not sure 'bout other WOLers

No World Clock time to tell

I know what you are thinking

You've got technology

The World Wide Web to help you

Just look us up and see

I think I have just gone

And dug myself in hole.....

Not so! I have excuse prepared

Reception can be crackly

Not so World ...

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Brothel Planning (just a thought)

I've had what I think is a very good idea

Put brothels on main/major roads

And not on our quiet suburban backstreets

Where children play, and bikes are rode

“Why are so many men

going into that house mummy?”

Don Matthews August 2019

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Jungle Law

I've just been asked to rid a poss

What's dead, yes, stone cold dead

Now normally I wouldn't flinch

Except it's lost it's head

While this might seem distasteful

And come across as gross

I'm versing 'bout the facts of life

Which this is just a dose

Fox on the prowl, poss out at night

Was not a friendly mix

Poss gave a curse, could not rever...

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I Am Your Master, You Are My Slave

I scream and shout to what avail

What am I screaming 'bout?

This damnable, this Smart/Iphone

That's chained us to it's route

It rules our life – addicted

We are, it says “Watch me”

Talk/looking at your neighbour is

Against technology

I AM IN CHARGE OF YOU TODAY

YOUR MASTER. MOBILE PHONE

“Hey! You can't do this to me

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The Cult of Cosmic Buzz

Lead us to the Cosmic Buzz

Swami Poet Don

We will gather, sup with Thee

(What ever's going on?)

Lead us to the Cosmic Buzz

New-Age Poet Don

(Wait till we go comb our hair)

(I know what's going on)

Poet Don's a charlatan

There is no Cosmic Buzz

He wants to lead his Cult of Buzz

Why? Just cos he does

Critic, you blasp...

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First Efforts at New-Age Poetry

There has been appearing on the site of late work which is coming to be known as 'New-Age' poetry. No stanzas, rhythm, rhyme. meter. i.e. a sort of 'non-poetry' if you like. Despite this lack of 'non-poetic' character, pieces such as this are being accepted on our officially-known-as 'poetry' website. Ergo, it must qualify as 'poetry'. Ergo again, then what I've ...

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Resow

When I look back on the life that I've lived

The many mistakes that I've made

I can't relive life and undo these mistakes

What's done has been done, I'm afraid

So what I am trying to say to you here

Is that what's past is past, let it go

Nothing can change it so just look ahead

Try starting again and resow

Don Matthews March 2018

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Boris Has a Problem

Boris has a problem

And so soon in his reign

A major, major, major one

Which on his p'rade will rain

Did he forget to read

The weather forecast? Rain?

When told this by his pollie mates

“No problem. Minor pain”

Boris had it sorted

A landslide victory

How come it's all gone arse up?

How can it arse-up be?

Yes Boris has a...

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Gloria Laura Vanderbilt

Gloria Laura Vanderbilt

New York fortune heiress

Died June 17 two thousand nineteen

After living a life of luxuriousness

She showed us her many great talents

Was beautiful, strode catwalks of fashion

Was squired by Errol Flynn, Marlon Brando

Frank Sinatra, whom in all she fired passion

In the 50's her career was an actress

And la...

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This Aussie Rhymer. What Are We Gonna Do?

Who's this Aussie rhymer

Giving us a serve?

Saying ain't nuf fun on WOL

Golly gosh! what nerve!

Don't he know we follow in

The feet of William Shakespeare

WOL has set the guidelines

To this Great Bard we steer

He has a silly habit

Of spidering round the site

Fripping here and frapping there

Frip/frapping d...

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Biggo's In My Dictionary

Source idea:  Jennifer Malden (London Bus), Rose Casserley (Biggo Expert). Fish (rack 'em stack 'em), Ray Pool (non-word tiredly)

Biggo's in my dictionary

The one for our New Age

I'm tired of using Shakespeare stuff

I wanna branch out, rage

Gotta, wanna, sorta, shoosh

Yep, all of these are there

It's far from Shakespeare's worn-out st...

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