I’m Leaving For A Wetter Man

“I’m leaving for a wetter man”,

your email said. My humour’s dry.

Surely you meant “Better man” or “Weatherman”.

“I’m leaving for a wetter man” -

Perhaps I should have bought a dam,

or dressed up in a puddle tie.

“I’m leaving for a wetter man” -

your email said. My tears won’t dry.

From my new collection of 'Short Funny Love Poems'

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You lived by yourself and felt so dejected

as your dating requests were always rejected.

Sadness and shame is what you projected.

You got to the point where it all was accepted.

You lived by yourself and felt so dejected,

so went for a walk when fate intercepted.

A ‘Clover’ sign fell and letters defected.

Sometimes ‘love’ strikes when it isn’t expected.

     From my forthco...

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From my new book:- A Floristry of Palpitations

I COMPARE THEE TO A ROAST DINNER

As cool as a sprout,

and more fragrant than a cabbage -

You turned me on with your Yorkshire Pudding wit.

Your potato looks, and carrot personality

attracted me like gravy to a plate.

Your cauliflower skin, and garden pea humour

was as passionate as a roast beef kiss.

Your solicitor was ...

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We visited a rainbow

at school the other day.

Every colour said hello

except for gloomy grey.

We visited a rainbow,

and used its arch to slide,

then when it started raining,

we used the arch to hide.

We visited a rainbow,

but never saw its gold.

Our teacher said it’s locked away,

but we think it’s been sold.

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My book - 'Your Sax Is On Fire' is now an incredible £3.99 when you type SAFIRE into the discount code box on

http://www.troubador.co.uk/book_info.asp?bookid=1594

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