healing (Remove filter)
Friday Morning Chemo Brain
Today at school, I locked myself in the bathroom
so I could cry where no one could see.
Things aren’t the same anymore and I don’t know
how to communicate it.
I find myself unable to do the simplest things—
to comprehend, to remember, to articulate
the things I could before.
This morning, I sat in silence and stretched and breathed in deeply,
and I said t...
Thursday 12th January 2023 1:00 am
I Want You to Know
I want to tell you.
I want to write it down.
I want to have the right words.
I want to feel them. I want you to feel them. I want you to feel what I felt.
I want you to know. About everything. I want to show it to you in broad daylight.
I want you to see it. I want you to face it. I want you to taste it
when the water turns to bleach. I want it to blister the inside of your ...
Saturday 27th November 2021 5:40 am
Ode to the Butterfly Window
I always hoped I’d get a seat next to them—
After so many hours in that chair, you look for anything to make you smile.
Most days I came prepared with things to occupy my mind.
I carried a book of Kate Bush’s song lyrics, called How to Be Invisible, which had been nearly ruined once when I spilled an entire canteen of water in the bag I packed to take to the hospital.
Bu...
Saturday 27th November 2021 5:35 am
Tuesday, From the Water
From here—
I wish I could capture this moment with my eyes:
A rose-golden mist of salt
shimmering in the glow of the setting sun
falling like stardust into the grey-green seams
of water, pulled tightly over by the crest of a broken wave
She could devour me in an instant with
white-water jaws;
swallow me whole and
spit me into her dark abyss
But here—
...Saturday 27th November 2021 5:33 am
Lucky Girl
i am a lucky girl.
just recently i read that
on average
people take around 24,000 breaths
everyday
in between words
and laughs
and running late to their jobs.
today i watched an old
PJ Harvey concert on tv
she was singing and
screaming and
breathing
all over the place-
it was great
i bet i took a thousand breaths
just sitting there watchi...
Tuesday 26th January 2021 3:36 am
They Come to Me When Things Are Still
They come to me when things are still
And leave me without choice to hear
The things I've heard and know too well
Of tired topics,
To be clear
I, myself and just the ears
Without chance to think, or speak
It seems all I do is overhear
Their endless banter of
Self critique
Seldom, do I have a moment
For myself
Today, for instance
Was particularly loud
Who...
Friday 22nd January 2021 3:05 am
The Walls We Built
I could not reach you
But how I sought to
How desperately I longed
To belong to you
But the walls between us
The ones you built
Stood far too strong
And far too tall
For me to reach
Oh, but how I tried
How relentlessly I cast my bleeding hands
Against the jagged rocks and stones
That kept me from you
Lost,
Alone
But how I tried
And I wait...
Friday 22nd January 2021 2:32 am
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